I Love My Husband.

It's really easy with the daily grind of life to take the simple things for granted.

You know, things like hugs when you walk in the door and kisses before dozing off.

Our family life is hectic. I have never been one who did anything the "easy" way.

So, here I am at 33 with three beautiful active children, an equally beautiful husband ( boy, they hate to be called that, but he is a looker) and a very hectic yet satisfying life. Its not without it's ups and downs, and I am not, of course, without my days of longing to run away....but for the most part, it's what I always wanted.



There are things I never expected. And I will be brief and vague about them, for the sake of privacy. Ok, I never expected to gain as much weight as I did. And I never, ever expected that weight gain to have the impact on me that it did. But it did none the less. I was a skinny child, and until I had my second child, a skinny adult. I gained a ridiculous amount of weight during that pregnancy. I didnt lose it before having child number three.

I only gained 23 pounds with my third child. I lost thirty afterwards. Still fat.



Weight gain has affected me in ways I didnt think it could. I avoided social situations. I avoided intimacy. I lost my self confidence, and felt completely unatractive. And I saw firsthand that there is a stigma and there is discrimination of heavy people. There are also health issues. My blood pressure sky rocketed, I became at risk for diabetes and my migraines spiked uncontrollably and threatened to ruin my life. Sounds a little melodramatic, I know. Don't judge till you've had one every day for two weeks.

I was very depressed. I had a hard time keeping up with things in my daily life.



This isnt brief or vague.....jeez.



Okay, so last October I decided once and for all to make some changes.



I did alot of research about Migraine medication. I have tried more than I care to list, and it is probably the reason why aspirin causes turmoil in my stomach. So I came across Topomax. It seemed too good to be true. It worked daily to reduce Migraines and was a mood stabilizer to control bipolar disorder. How's that for vague? Most bipolar meds stifle creativity....not to mention turning you into a drooling , shuffling zombie. I talked to my Doctor and she said Okay Lets try it!



There were other side effects. Soda tasted like battery acid. So in two days I broke my decade long addiction to Coca Cola. In the first week I was down seven pounds and no migraines. With that impetus, I gave up sweets, refined sugars, red meat, pork, and most junk food. I joined the Get Fit! Program for 13 weeks at the YMCA. I lost just under 40 pounds.



I still get a monthly migraine, but it'snot usually so bad I have to stay in bed. That hasnt happened in twenty years. I can keep up with kids, work, housework, cub scouts...you name it! I am now 11 months later, really close to my goal. Yesterday I tried on a dress that was a size 8. I put it on and I zipped it up. It was too tight. But I zipped it up. By next month....I should be there. I gave myself a year. I didnt lose it too fast. I didnt do a gimmick diet. I modified my behavior because I needed to do something for myself.



But the best part of all this is the bonus of reaction from Tom. I have to say that regardless of what I weighed, his desire for me never faltered. I never, ever felt less loved.



I bought a different dress yesterday for my sisters wedding. I bought a very cute Chocolate Satin number that is a halter style dress. Its kind of form fitting, but is cinched across the abdomen and makes the trouble area look...well, not really " troubled" at all.



I found perfect Chocolate ruffled peep toe stillettos to match.



Yesterday I tried it on for him. I can't recall what he said because his words were a bit ..well he was stammering a little. But he liked it. Then this morning I recieved a message on myspace from my Darling titled "The Dress"
Subject:
"The Dress"
Body:
You looked so wonderful in your new dress. I can't keep thinking about how beautiful you looked. Thanks for a great night, I love you babe.


And sometimes, on great occasions...that man leaves me at a loss for words.

I'm so glad he's mine. I love you too babe.

My Sista is gonna be a Bride!

Da Dum Dee Dum, Da Dum Dee Dum....

Or however the Wedding March seems to go in your head. That's how it goes in mine. So my lil Sista is getting hitched! She will be doing a very small ceremony at the Lower Falls O'Niagra for immediate family. And a nice big reception/BBQ next summer for everyone else.

I am the Matron of Honor. Oooh, the chills. There's something about Matron that makes me think "blue hair." Is it just me ladies? But I am sooo excited. And its not too fancy, so I can pick out my own attire and not be stressed. The most wonderful thing about all of this is that Jen and Ben will be married. They have their house, their doggie, their kitty....and plenty of time to put up with people asking them when they will have a baby!

So here's my advice to them on that one. Kids are great. And they will be the greatest challenge of your lives, and undoubtedly the greatest source of joy you may ever know. They are also a lifetime commitment. So, if you would like to do some traveling...say Europe or the like. Maybe wait a few years. Give yourself some time with your husband first. But then, you can always bring that baby to Aunt Jo's too.

Enjoy your time as Newlyweds....It doesnt last forever. Things move faster these days. Enjoy each other. Make time for one another and communicate. This time is precious, and you always smile when you look back and think about it. Always.

I am so proud of my sister. She is a dynamo. Jennifer lives life with purpose and direction I wish I had. She's brilliant, reserved and motivated to be the best she can be. She's overcome adversity and life threatening illnesses. There is nothing that she cannot do. There are many people in my life that I consider my Heroes. I use heroic as an attribute to describe my sister, because I believe that we have yet to see her very best.....and it may knock our socks off when we do.

So I extend Best Wishes to Jennifer and Ben. Ben, you are a very lucky guy. I am glad my sister has been blessed to have found a kind, caring good man like yourself. Welcome to our Dysfunctional Family.


Wedding is September 27th. I will update with photos afterwards.

My Children's Fathers Day Creations

My husband is a terrific, hard working Dad. He spoils us all and tried very hard to keep us all happy. The kids are always so proud of what they craft for him at school. This year was no exception. It came with the added bonus of hilarity. I hope you parents can relate and see the humor.





On Fathers Day, he is a champ and all smiles as he is handed yet another construction paper "tie" imprinted with " Why is Dad so thoroughly Mad" . Just so you know, This is Masons second go round in Kindergarten. Jackson is in second grade, bringing the grand total in ties hanging in his bedroom to 3. But He smiles and reads it excitedly and thanks his son and hugs him.



Then he reads the card.



Memories With My Dad ( and theres a nicely colored orange Papa Bear with cub)



open it up and it says " I liked it when ___________________" and they draw a corresponding picture, then the other side says You made me laugh when ___________.



So Masons answers are: when we built a puppet stage. At this point Tom raises an eyebrow and looks at me. He's thinking maybe he forgot this. I know because Im his wife and we finish eachothers sentences. But I know whats going on and I start to laugh.



The next answer is " when a board hit you in the head." Now Tom is straight out laughing hysterically. Neither of these things EVER happened. Of all the things he DID build with his son, he chose to make something up. And I can assure you that if a board did hit him in the head, Mason would have thought it was very funny. But he most likely would not have laughed when it happened. We are sitting at the table laughing our asses off.



Tom asks Mason, " Did you make this stuff up?"



Mason replies, " Well, yeah... I just said what I thought was good and drew a picture."



Happy Fathers Day Dad! From the ADD one. God knows he loves you dearly.....but this card thing is a bit much. He then gave him a beautiful tile he decorated with the word DAD. And MAN was he proud he knew how to spell Dad. ....



Then we got out Sophias gift from YTots. They made little laminated cards for Dad. On one side said MY Dad is great because: and then the wee ones dictated their messages and the teachers wrote them down. On the other side was: A Picture of my Dad.



I wonder what in the heck those teachers think of us. I really do.



I am going to post, verbatim, Sophias ode to her Daddy.



My Dad is great because:



My Dad lets me go to Simmons-Rockwell.

And he lets me go to the "Big" library with my Mom.

My Dad brought home Harleigh the Shih Tzu and then peed in the Pacifica.

love, Sophia



Let me clarify something, Harley, not Daddy, peed in the Pacifica.

You did notice she got "shih tzu" her favorite "Bad Word" in her Fathers Day Card, right?



Now about that picture.....



I have a very handsome husband. Blonde hair, green eyes, nice bod, glasses, receding hairline, great teeth and smile. I happen to think he's the cats meow.



The picture was a circle with stick arms and legs, Mr. Magoo glasses, and "bald, like Dad" says Sophia. At this time I must say that this child loves her Daddy " like a fat kid loves cake". She adores him.



But all these travesties were fine, we laughed till we cried. Jackson made him a truly sweet card. It said " My Dad is nice, kind, smart, brave, strong, cool, funny, helpful, wonderful, handsome! My Dad deserves a trophy because he gives me stuff from his childhood. I also think he is the best because he buys mew toys. I like him because he brought me my dog. I like when he shows me his trophies he won. He is very nice. I love my Dad. Happy Fathers Day.



Well, Dad. We love you for all these reasons and more. We love you for making us a family. I love you for being you. I love you changing diapers, making bottles, and getting the kids in their car seats. I love you for finding ways to spend more time with us, like I know you are always doing.
I love you because you have probably spent a month of your life jumping on the trampoline, another month at the soccer fields, and you're fine with it. We all think you're totally awesome, because you are. We know why you do what you do, and that were at the heart of your world. Each and every one of us has had the honor of watching you come swooping in to save the day. You are what heros are made of. You are ours. We love you. Happy Fathers Day Tom.

99% of the time

I have been working very hard over the past two years to try to conquer the beast within. Sound ridiculous? Well.....I'm often driven by emotion. Sometimes something very small can set me off. I have cried at commercials. Sometimes, they're not even sad. I scream at people in my car when they drive retarded because they're busy chatting away on their phones. I get pissed off when bad things happen to my friends and family. I'm that kind of person. In my younger days, I was the type of girl who threw punches. I never gave two shits how big you were. Now, I'm a parent, and I don't want my children to witness this sociopathic behavior...so as I said earlier, I am trying to tame the beast. I am concious of these behaviors. I take medication to help even me out, and to ward off migraines. ( they are related-believe it or not! and the drug is my savior.) I eat a healthy diet, and I excersize regularly to make sure I feel my best. Hell, I even take to my blog to vent.


But there are times like today, when I feel like I have tried all the alternative routes. I have talked till I am blue in the face, a million second chances have been given, and still someone very, very dear to me I am watching get kicked around. Well, at least I am watching him be scapegoated so someone else can be blameless. And because of my Momma bear complex, sisterly love or a good old fashioned pissing contest I want nothing more than to go out and give a well deserved Trimboli- style Beat Down. And it truly shames me. I hate war and violence. I hate that part of me. But its always kind of there. I don't think women are supposed to have this problem, and I feel such inner guilt over these feelings. It isnt right to let people make you feel this way. Normally, I am able to let it go. But every once in awhile.....

Will I ever be able to function without this anger mechanism? Or am I destined to be an angry old bitch?

Ode to My Dad

My Dad loves Baseball. But he loves the Mets, as does my sister Jen. We will forgive that. My friend Sara, who has known me longer than any of my friends, other than my sister; will appreciate this post. She too, is one of his daughters, the unofficial one.



My Dad worked for many years as an executive for a Fortune 500 company. We moved every Four years or so growing up. He worked long hours, but he didnt miss the important stuff. Case in point, softball games. My Mom was our Coach, so was Dad. Dad usually got there in the 3rd inning or so. We would see him walking down from the road to the dug-oug losing articles of clothing. Jacket, tie...rolling up his sleeves and coaching in a dress shirt and dress pants, always sweating profusely.



(He gets that from my late Grandfather Anthony Trimboli. He was a big sweater. Happy Fathers Day Pop Pop. We miss you. He was the only other person in my family who liked Barbra Striesand besides me. He's been gone a long time now. I miss my Grandparents alot. I wish my children knew them.)



The girls on the softball teams loved my parents. They were fair, everyone played. Everyone learned. And everyone had fun and felt like a winner. My Dad used to get excited. Sometimes he argued. But he was always there. Sara thought it was cool that he was there coaching in business attire. I think probably because her Dad wore the same kind of clothes and she hardly saw him. But she saw my Dad. He was there for her too.

We grew up on baseball fields. The kids even got to play in the adult ball games. Most likely because we were so good...but thats besides the point. Im very lucky. My Father is there in all my childhood memories, and all my adult memories, and in all my childrens memories too. And if he stops smoking, he may be there into their adulthood too!



We went camping and skiing every year. My Dad can cook eggs over a campfire that melt in your mouth. He tells storys about his childhood that we still dont know if theyre true or not. All we do know is that he had bike parts, not bikes. He was the youngest boy of seven and he was called "Worm" His brother Steve sent him mail adressed to Worm Trimboli. We should all ahve a brother like that.



When I was a teenager, I had a hard time passing my road test, despite being a good driver. Laugh, but it's true. Ive always been a nervous person. It's diagnosed. So when I flunked the second time around, with the same instructor....my Dad lost it a little. He called her the c word. Now before, you get all high and mighty, consider this: You've driven hundreds of hours with your sixteen year old daughter. She's failed for the second time and is looking at you with tears in her big blue eyes. He tried to talk to the woman and got stonewalled. Then he went off. I always say how embarassed I was. But not really. He then went to the DMV to complain about her. I had to retake my pewrmit test and resign up for my road test. Which my Mom took me to and I passed. ( new instructor) My Dad was trying to be his daughters hero that day. If the instructor had been a man, no doubt my Dad would have been arrested. ( But, Im sure I would have passed!)



My Dad's always been there for me. Through the good, the bad and the ugly. And the man knows how to jerk a few tears too....As I walked down the aisle to marry Tom, He said to me:



You go be his Queen, but you'll always be MY Princess.



Happy Fathers Day Daddy. I love you.

(NO) Good Mornin Ma!

I can admit I am not always sunny and happy. But I do try. God knows I have four other people in my home to keep smiling. This being said, I will freely admit, I was never a morning person when I was a kid. Sorry Ma. But I got that from my Momma. But now, at the ripe and tender age of 33, Im good in the mornings. Mostly to counteract the sourpusses.

This morning it was just me and the guys. Sophie and her cousin Kyra spent the night with my Mom.
And everyone with a penis was scowling. I got two or three words from my husband and no kiss good bye. I got eye rolling, " Gawd!", "Jeez" and foot stomping from Jack. From Mason, sheer attitude because I said , " You don't have gym, its hot, Wear your Flip Flops." They're so lovely to me in the morning as I make their breakfast, lay out their clothes, clear their dishes, pack their lunch, and then drove them the 1/5 mile to school because it was 8:25 and they whined all morning about this or that, and Jack doesn't like to be late. Even if HE can't find HIS library book! Oh, and its HOT. I think we need to go to Georgia. Then we'll see how hot it is.

What I wouldnt give for one morning of smiles. What would it take to get one morning where everyone gets up out of bed on the first Holler of their name, and comes down smiling and happy. Oh, I forgot, Its called Christmas. And I can only handle THAT stress once a year, barely.

Better Yet, How about if I give what I get? I guess not huh? Thats probably considered child abuse. I'll just blog good naturedly about it and hope like heck that when they make their way home at 3:07 they are feelin a bit kinder towards ol Ma. Or Else.