I Love My Husband.

It's really easy with the daily grind of life to take the simple things for granted.

You know, things like hugs when you walk in the door and kisses before dozing off.

Our family life is hectic. I have never been one who did anything the "easy" way.

So, here I am at 33 with three beautiful active children, an equally beautiful husband ( boy, they hate to be called that, but he is a looker) and a very hectic yet satisfying life. Its not without it's ups and downs, and I am not, of course, without my days of longing to run away....but for the most part, it's what I always wanted.



There are things I never expected. And I will be brief and vague about them, for the sake of privacy. Ok, I never expected to gain as much weight as I did. And I never, ever expected that weight gain to have the impact on me that it did. But it did none the less. I was a skinny child, and until I had my second child, a skinny adult. I gained a ridiculous amount of weight during that pregnancy. I didnt lose it before having child number three.

I only gained 23 pounds with my third child. I lost thirty afterwards. Still fat.



Weight gain has affected me in ways I didnt think it could. I avoided social situations. I avoided intimacy. I lost my self confidence, and felt completely unatractive. And I saw firsthand that there is a stigma and there is discrimination of heavy people. There are also health issues. My blood pressure sky rocketed, I became at risk for diabetes and my migraines spiked uncontrollably and threatened to ruin my life. Sounds a little melodramatic, I know. Don't judge till you've had one every day for two weeks.

I was very depressed. I had a hard time keeping up with things in my daily life.



This isnt brief or vague.....jeez.



Okay, so last October I decided once and for all to make some changes.



I did alot of research about Migraine medication. I have tried more than I care to list, and it is probably the reason why aspirin causes turmoil in my stomach. So I came across Topomax. It seemed too good to be true. It worked daily to reduce Migraines and was a mood stabilizer to control bipolar disorder. How's that for vague? Most bipolar meds stifle creativity....not to mention turning you into a drooling , shuffling zombie. I talked to my Doctor and she said Okay Lets try it!



There were other side effects. Soda tasted like battery acid. So in two days I broke my decade long addiction to Coca Cola. In the first week I was down seven pounds and no migraines. With that impetus, I gave up sweets, refined sugars, red meat, pork, and most junk food. I joined the Get Fit! Program for 13 weeks at the YMCA. I lost just under 40 pounds.



I still get a monthly migraine, but it'snot usually so bad I have to stay in bed. That hasnt happened in twenty years. I can keep up with kids, work, housework, cub scouts...you name it! I am now 11 months later, really close to my goal. Yesterday I tried on a dress that was a size 8. I put it on and I zipped it up. It was too tight. But I zipped it up. By next month....I should be there. I gave myself a year. I didnt lose it too fast. I didnt do a gimmick diet. I modified my behavior because I needed to do something for myself.



But the best part of all this is the bonus of reaction from Tom. I have to say that regardless of what I weighed, his desire for me never faltered. I never, ever felt less loved.



I bought a different dress yesterday for my sisters wedding. I bought a very cute Chocolate Satin number that is a halter style dress. Its kind of form fitting, but is cinched across the abdomen and makes the trouble area look...well, not really " troubled" at all.



I found perfect Chocolate ruffled peep toe stillettos to match.



Yesterday I tried it on for him. I can't recall what he said because his words were a bit ..well he was stammering a little. But he liked it. Then this morning I recieved a message on myspace from my Darling titled "The Dress"
Subject:
"The Dress"
Body:
You looked so wonderful in your new dress. I can't keep thinking about how beautiful you looked. Thanks for a great night, I love you babe.


And sometimes, on great occasions...that man leaves me at a loss for words.

I'm so glad he's mine. I love you too babe.