My Soul Mate

This August Tom and I will celebrate our 7th year of marriage. I think we need an award for that milestone personally, but I know other people do it everyday. Our parents have been married for 32 years respectively. I am of the opinion, that for me, personally, marriage is a sacred thing to be done once in a lifetime. That being said, I understand divorce. I also often wonder if marriage is a natural thing for everyone, or if for some it is an unnatural arrangement?

Having been married now for the better part of a decade, I can't imagine living alone again. I wouldn't want to. I hate it when I have to go to sleep alone. But I sometimes wonder if I was cut out to live with others, if maybe I am one of those people that wasnt cut out for the living arrangement. It has very little to do with how I feel, but more to do with the series of things I put others through in order to live with me. I am not a person for whom domestication has ever really held any kind of great interest. Household operations are things I loathe, I only do them to please people I love. I DO like to cook. I LOVE my kids and nurturing them, and spending time and being with them and my husband. But the other stuff, eh. I have put my husband to the test more than he has deserved. And sometimes he did deserve it. But I am hard to live with. I am unpredictable, and my mental state often deteriorates quickly, and without warning. Its hard for me, and harder for him. But he stays, and he loves. While I am usually a brave person, when I am terrified, he is my hero. Everybody needs a hero. When I was at my very, very lowest Tom was out there, fighting for me. Kicking ass and taking names. Trust me, you don't want to meet "that Tom".
He made me strong again. He took the reigns, reeled me in and brought me home again. I spend about half of my time doubting myself and thinking Im bat shit crazy, and then Tom and I finish each others sentences....and I know I'm gonna be ok.


Seven years. I still love him. Very intensly. " He is the cheese to my macaroni." And with the goings on of daily life we are often pulled in a million different directions, and our heads left filled with the days worries and calculations stealing our peace, but I love him. Always have.

This about sums it up. I wish I could say anything half as pretty as Neil Young.....

Come a little bit closer
Hear what I have to say
Just like children sleepin'
We could dream this night away.

But there's a full moon risin'
Let's go dancin' in the light
We know where the music's playin'
Let's go out and feel the night.

Because I'm still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon.

When we were strangers
I watched you from afar
When we were lovers
I loved you with all my heart.
But now it's gettin' late
And the moon is climbin' high

I want to celebrate
See it shinin' in your eye.
Because I'm still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon.