Do the teen years start at 9?

I was, until recently, under the impression I had a few years left to go before I entered the realm of "teen-agers". My oldest son is 9. I think he was, at some point in recent time, kidnapped and labotomized by aliens with a sick sense of humor.

May I start with a brief history? This child, after an initial scary entry to this world, was a thriving, bouncing baby boy. He is a light of my life. He was the easiest baby in the world. So easy, in fact, I thought...I'll have another one....who wasnt so easy. ( But thats another blog entirely) Jack nursed till he weas a year old despite the fact that he had teeth at 5 months, he NEVER bit me. He walked at eight months. He slept through the night from the first night he came home. I know, you Moms may want to kick me in the baby maker right now.....but this isn't braggadoccia, he was just laid back and easy from the get go. Period. ( Payback is a biatch, I know, I have one who didnt sleep thru the night till he went to Kindegarten-and I gained just shy of a hundred pounds with him and he was the smallest of my three!) So I digress, of course! Back to Ol Jacky Jack.

Do you remember what you were like as a teen? I do. I was a bitch. I was stubborn, and pissed about everything, even if it was what I wanted....It wasnt right. Somehow that is the mode my nine year old is in. Not all the time mind you, there are moments when he is my sweet, sweet boy, but not too often. Mostly it is eye rolling, under the breath insults, and feet stomping.

On top of all of this, at the, dare I say, young age of 33, I have become the biggest DORK ever! The dork who let him grow his hair out, and highligted it for his good report card like he wanted. His father thought THAT was absurd. The same DORK who ok'd an iPod for the 9th birthday. And low and behold, he still hasnt used all of his iTunes gift card, because his DORK mother has SOOOO much kick ass music in her iTunes library, he hasnt needed it.

Now he did tell me I was beautiful on Mothers Day....but I suspect he wanted to go to Pollywoggs. But I got to thinking, since Im such a dork and all....How funny would it be if I showed up to walk him home from school with some pink rollers in my hair, pajamas on, and maybe some zit cream in place? I would never actually do it, mind you....but the threat might improve the attitude. Besides, Mason would probably tell me I looked great and ask me to wear my hair like that all the time! Seriously, he has a wicked sense of humor.

I can't help but wonder, if this is what nine is like....What am I in for when they are actually in their teens?