My little Charges!

So I may have mentioned that I am back at it. My home now houses three more ankle biters under the age of four each weekday, plus one more a few days a week. Plus their older brother comes for a half hour after school. I know it sounds crazy, but my boys go to school at 8. Sophie goes at 12:30, and these kids are such well behaved, sweet little buggers! Their big brother was with me from infancy till nearly four years old, so they are all family to us!

Funny thing is, unlike my own kids most days, they really seem to like me! They think Im a great cook. My kids swear I am, but consistently stick up their noses at my offerings.... They love to dance, and will even try to learn the hustle, the bop, the twist and the running man. They think I'm funnier than Chris Rock I tell ya! Grease is the word in this house, play it and baby booties will shake. And in case you were wondering, I'm like the best singer-EVER! Ask the Wee Ones!

Our days consist of mealtimes and diaperings, of course. ( I don't even mind. I thought once mine were finally out of diapers I'd never want to go back!) Stories, games, walks and lots of music. And all kinds of music, classical at naptime, with the occasional Sade. Beatles everyday because they help kids grow. At least thats my theory. Some Laurie Berkner, some Springsteen, whatever Im feeling....Yes Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brother too. Thats what THEY like. I'm fair.
And lots of fresh air and playiing with Blue and Harleigh. Do you know any other dogs that let kids ride them or sleep on them? Thats Blue! Or a pampered Shih Tzu who has no qualms being pushed around in a stroller? Harleigh.
The Trampoline is a big hit. As are walks to Arkport Cycles. The boys love the Vroom Vrooms. And the girls really like the Vespa we saw there, and the Snowmobiles. Thats what we call them, we don't care what Palin calls them.

I'm a little more tired at the end of the day. But I'm a whole lot more fulfilled. I get hugs and kissed on the way out the door. And they LOVE me. That makes it worthwhile. I'm helping a family I love, and it's helping my family. Am I getting rich? No. I don't need to get rich, my life is rich, my cup runneth over.

I love my big, daytime family. And they are beckoning right now!

Hunter, What say you Old Man!

I am trying my best not to keep ranting Politically...
But I must say these Republican people may be leaving me no other choice.
I am not speaking of voters, mind you. But those in charge, and those thinking...delusionally, that they should be.

And my thoughts veer of track and the sentences leave the paragraphs they were thinking they might form, and I find myself contemplating what Hunter Thompson would say.

About all THIS.

I remember hearing the news he had decided to change the game on us and exit early. I was hardly suprised, but so sad. A few years later Kurt Vonnegut fell down, and never really got back up and he left us too. I tend to think I model my inner lunatic after the good Doc, and my inner humanist after Kurt. I've been a little off for quite sometime now. * Bruce Springsteen, don't get any friggin ideas!

But back to Hunter-

Karl Rove is the last of the Nixon assholes. And he has groomed a whole new generation of clones. They have apparently taken the helm of McCains campaign. Everytime I see Sarah Palin I feel vomit coming. When she speaks I can smell my hair on fire. She race baits. She peddles and repeddles and reinvents whatever miniscule crap they can hand feed the scared white people. Don't talk about the economy! Our country is on the verge of huge financial collapse. Please, someone call Paul Krugman and Bob Raish, not Greenspan or Paulson! We have the deregulation King running. And Princess AbuseO'Power as his Second in Commandthisclose. Do we need more abuse of executive Power? Really?!

John McCain, stop saying "my friends." You vote against the intersts of the middle class, and against the interests of veterans. Who are your friends? People like Cindy. Period. The "5 Million" or more people. Not us. No, no Johnny. Not us. We werent born into your world of priviledge. Sure, we didnt get shot down as a POW, but thats the only honorable thing you've really done. And you werent that good at it. (Its out there. Do the research)

It has now come out that while wiretapping, government officials were listening to private citizens having phone sex. No, no terrorists, private citizens like you and me.

I think Hunter would be nuts. I think he would be writing. I think he would be calling for Revolution.

I know what the Bush Doctrine is, because I read Hunter S Thompson.



I think I have found my polarizing force in Politics, and she's the one standing next to the old man, with the updo and the Tina Fey glasses. I understand Hunter more than I ever did before. I am angry. I am spitting fire mad. I want my country back, and I am not willing to sacrifice progress for racism, war and extreme wealth in the guise of capitalism.

I'm not saying Obama is perfect. I'm saying we deserve better. We deserve a change.

BailOut?

So Banks are failing, and Wall Streets a mess... and insurance companies, well, I guess "we the people" now own one. And I, the staunch Democrat, have an opinion on that, as I do on everything else in this universe.

So, I don't really want to bail these guys out.

(Because they sound alot like the Ken Lays, Jeff Skillings and John Rigases of the world, among other things.)

When you have an idea like Universal Healthcare for the citizens- SOCIALISM!

But Wall Streets failing, you want the taxpayers to save you, SOCIALISM!- but that kind is ok? I don't really want my money to go for that sort of thing. I'd rather put it to use for something else.

I have to say, I kind of, GASP! agree with the House Republicans on this one.

We live in a starter home, within our means, our mortgage is secured by a local bank that will not sell our note. We dont use credit cards. One car is paid for, the other isn't...but it will be. Were cheap, i guess. But we have three wee ones. We used to live a whole lot better on a whole lot less eight years ago. We felt the sqeeze on the middle class first hand, and that may have something to do with why I don't feel like helping out people who could care less about my family. President Douche first and foremost.

Yet.....

My Man works at a dealership, so we need for open lines of credit to keep the dealership secure. My friend who's kids are in my charge works at a bank.....so we need for things to go well. I just disagree with bailing them out.

Funny how shit flows downhill .

I am not better off now, than I was eight years ago. Are you?
Oh, and our income has almost doubled.

Jen is Wed.

My sister is married. It was a very lovely, intimate affair. The big shin dig shall be next year when we all will celebrate together. She looked beautiful. Her ring is so pretty, and I have never seen anything quite like it. It's so fitting of her, and Ben did it so very, very right.

and heres one of me and my baby sister on her wedding day

I love her. She picked a wonderful person who adores her to share her life with.

Does it get any better than that?

Our moments in our hotel were spent somewhat sick in the evenings, but during the days luck was on our side, and Niagra Falls was a welcoming and accomodating place for our family.

After the nuptuals and the gorgeous luncheon that followed, we convinced Erik and Laura to come along to the falls with us. Kian stayed with Nana and Pa, and Kyra found a map and led us all....

I think the kids had a blast, and their parents did too. I don't get to see all that much of my little brother, and we had a good time. I know the kids won't forget this day any time soon. Erik had never seen the Falls before.

Erik and Laura at the Falls.....

Tom and I at the falls. And look, Im not pregnant this time!

I couldn't help but think that the last time we were we were on our honeymoon, and I had Mason in the oven.  We did an awful lot of walking around with the kids, and although we were all a bit sick, I didn't feel all that out of shape! Thats a good sign.  I remember being pooped the last time!

Now the shitty part is that shortly after this last photo was taken, my camera battery died.  I know, I know, but I charged it up before we left....I just took a lot of photos! 

So I have no pics of Old Fort Niagra, or my kids first venture into a Hard Rock Cafe. But I wish I did.  If you ever have the chance to visit Old Fort Niagra, and you're a history buff, go. Its a very cool place.  My seven and nine year old boys, as well as the twenty-eight year old one had a blast. 

SO thats done. Back to the daily grind. ;)

Have I forgotten anything?

So this week my very good friend went back to work.
Her husband is a corrections officer stationed back in my old stomping grounds of Orange County Ny. Even though he is making more money than they ever did when they were both working, the cost of fuel with his commute home every other week coupled with rising heat costs has forced her back into the work force.

She is the mother of four. Three of whom are aged four and under...well three and under, soon to be four. She was so glad to finally be able to stay at home with her kids, in her new home they recently purchased. But her old job called her and asked her to come back, and I was available to care for the kids, as I had her oldest son and the younger ones throughout the years and so it goes.


It has been hectic. Last weekend was a non stop whirlwind for me, and then on Monday morning, there were seven. Children that is. They are so good. And it is a very rewarding job. But Im feeling a bit tired, not to mention that my little Princess, as well as my friends little Princess, both had puking spells this week. Hers was on Weds. My daughters was this morning. I now feel like my stomach is doing flip flops.

It is naptime, so I am doing a quick blog to connect my thoughts and clear my head.
I am half packed, the favors and manicure tools are packed with the directions, my dress and shoes are ready. I need hose and some sort of bra...although honestly, I do not.....My Princess is packed and ready, the Princes' clothing is ready to go. I need to sew a button on my Darling's suit jacket because I prefer the navy one and he wore the other to Bridget's wedding last month. I have her card. I should've dyed my hair and I really need to double check my eyebrows again. I have made the arrangements for the doggies. My very sweet husband cleaned out the fridge for me last night. So really, everything needs to go into suitcases, and I need to polish the few words I will be called upon to say. And I know what I want to say.

Now if I havent forgotten anything. And as long as I don't get sick tommorrow.
My sister, my oldest friend in all the world gets married! I am so excited. It is also the first time that me and my husband head back to Niagra Falls since our honeymoon. So I'm also a bit nostalgic.

SO I am off and running. Quite eager to leave my little one horse town for a few days and celebrate a new beginning with the folks I love.

I Love My Husband.

It's really easy with the daily grind of life to take the simple things for granted.

You know, things like hugs when you walk in the door and kisses before dozing off.

Our family life is hectic. I have never been one who did anything the "easy" way.

So, here I am at 33 with three beautiful active children, an equally beautiful husband ( boy, they hate to be called that, but he is a looker) and a very hectic yet satisfying life. Its not without it's ups and downs, and I am not, of course, without my days of longing to run away....but for the most part, it's what I always wanted.



There are things I never expected. And I will be brief and vague about them, for the sake of privacy. Ok, I never expected to gain as much weight as I did. And I never, ever expected that weight gain to have the impact on me that it did. But it did none the less. I was a skinny child, and until I had my second child, a skinny adult. I gained a ridiculous amount of weight during that pregnancy. I didnt lose it before having child number three.

I only gained 23 pounds with my third child. I lost thirty afterwards. Still fat.



Weight gain has affected me in ways I didnt think it could. I avoided social situations. I avoided intimacy. I lost my self confidence, and felt completely unatractive. And I saw firsthand that there is a stigma and there is discrimination of heavy people. There are also health issues. My blood pressure sky rocketed, I became at risk for diabetes and my migraines spiked uncontrollably and threatened to ruin my life. Sounds a little melodramatic, I know. Don't judge till you've had one every day for two weeks.

I was very depressed. I had a hard time keeping up with things in my daily life.



This isnt brief or vague.....jeez.



Okay, so last October I decided once and for all to make some changes.



I did alot of research about Migraine medication. I have tried more than I care to list, and it is probably the reason why aspirin causes turmoil in my stomach. So I came across Topomax. It seemed too good to be true. It worked daily to reduce Migraines and was a mood stabilizer to control bipolar disorder. How's that for vague? Most bipolar meds stifle creativity....not to mention turning you into a drooling , shuffling zombie. I talked to my Doctor and she said Okay Lets try it!



There were other side effects. Soda tasted like battery acid. So in two days I broke my decade long addiction to Coca Cola. In the first week I was down seven pounds and no migraines. With that impetus, I gave up sweets, refined sugars, red meat, pork, and most junk food. I joined the Get Fit! Program for 13 weeks at the YMCA. I lost just under 40 pounds.



I still get a monthly migraine, but it'snot usually so bad I have to stay in bed. That hasnt happened in twenty years. I can keep up with kids, work, housework, cub scouts...you name it! I am now 11 months later, really close to my goal. Yesterday I tried on a dress that was a size 8. I put it on and I zipped it up. It was too tight. But I zipped it up. By next month....I should be there. I gave myself a year. I didnt lose it too fast. I didnt do a gimmick diet. I modified my behavior because I needed to do something for myself.



But the best part of all this is the bonus of reaction from Tom. I have to say that regardless of what I weighed, his desire for me never faltered. I never, ever felt less loved.



I bought a different dress yesterday for my sisters wedding. I bought a very cute Chocolate Satin number that is a halter style dress. Its kind of form fitting, but is cinched across the abdomen and makes the trouble area look...well, not really " troubled" at all.



I found perfect Chocolate ruffled peep toe stillettos to match.



Yesterday I tried it on for him. I can't recall what he said because his words were a bit ..well he was stammering a little. But he liked it. Then this morning I recieved a message on myspace from my Darling titled "The Dress"
Subject:
"The Dress"
Body:
You looked so wonderful in your new dress. I can't keep thinking about how beautiful you looked. Thanks for a great night, I love you babe.


And sometimes, on great occasions...that man leaves me at a loss for words.

I'm so glad he's mine. I love you too babe.

Love is a Mix Tape

I recently read the very awesome Love is a Mix Tape by Rolling Stone's ( among many others...) Rob Sheffield. If you are in your thirties, or even late twenties or early forties....take a gander at this gem. Please. This music loving, reformed wild child Momma former Librarian begs you.....

It is a memoir of his time spent with his late wife. Yes, it has some very hairy parts that are tough on your heart. But, it a wonderfully crafted homage to music and love. Especially the music of the nineties. After I read this book I wrote the blog " Waitress in the Sky".
It may just stir up a little something in you. Or at the very least, remind you of that person you swore you would be, back when it mattered so very much.


So here's the question I pose of you, inspired by this wonderful book as well as the killer blog clever girl goes blog.blogspot.com.

What would you put on your ultimate mix tape?

Here's mine:

Born to Run-Springsteen - Its been my favorite song as long back as I can remember. This love of all things Bruce was passed to me from my Mom and Aunt Jo ( my namesake) as was her original Lp on vinyl. This may be where the "proud working class American how dare you question my patriotism" thing comes from.
Evangeline-The Band -I like the version from the Last Waltz with Emmylou Harris. I love this song, it stays with you for a bit after it ends.
Jackson-Johnny Cash & June Carter Cash -Shining example of why I don't have to defend loving country music as much as every other genre I love.
Ready or Not-Jackson Browne- I was once young, single and pregnant. I swear to god Jackson Browne helped get me through it. This song used to make me HAPPY, so happy I would dance around my room singing this to the little baby boy in my belly, named Jackson.
Paradise by The Dashboard Light-Meatloaf - Cheesy you say, Ha! If you are alone in your car, and you are not cranking this at full volume and singing your heart out, you missed out. I used to do a killer Kareoke version of this with my friend Scott, back when I was a drinker.
Franklins Tower- The Grateful Dead -It makes me want to dance, and Roll Away.
Last Day of Our Aquaintance-Sinead O'Connor -If you've ever been there, you know. You just know by the pain in her voice.
Barracuda-Heart -I love the Wilson girls. And thanks to Guitar Hero, I love it more.
My Sister-Julianna Hatfield -Long Story, very cool and influential chick in my life. And great story involving my sister and the ride to see JH just trying to get her to "her first all ages show"
Frankie and Johnnie-Sam Cooke - I'm a jealous woman on occasion. And I really dig Sam Cooke.
Fascinating Rythm-Ella Fitzgerald -I love Ella. And I can really show off my stuff on this tune.
Harvest Moon-Neil Young - Reminds me of me and Tommy. And makes me teary eyed everytime I hear it. How odd is it that a song Ive been hearing my whole life suddenly takes on new meaning and has that effect?
Sugar in My Bowl-Nina Simone - Horniest song ever written, sung as only Ms Simone can do.
Tenth Avenue Freeze oUt- Springsteen - Listen to it without moving. I dare you.
I shall Be Released-Bob Dylan -Not much for spirituals or hymns. For me, that is what this song totally is. At this moment in time, in 2008 in America, I find this song very comforting and somehow uplifting.
Levon-Elton John -Just love it. Always have. Its really kind of a weird song.
Going to California-Led Zeppelin- My favorite Zeppelin song. It reminds me of Tom. Thats reason enough to love it.


Write one. It does your soul good. And listen to it darn it.

I chose mine this way:

I HAVE to listen to these song blasting. I just can't do them at normal volume.

Enjoy. Have a nice day. Be good to one another!