On August 4th, my oldest friend turned 33. So for a few months she gets to be as old as me. We have known eachother for 24 years. In September it will be 25. With the exception of my sister and brother, ( who is 25) I dont have any other friends I have known that long.
Well, Ive known Shannon that long. He's my Moms best friends son for 32 1/2 years, but he is married and Im sure he is NOT allowed to be friends with me. Long story. And not worth the effort.
Sara is family. She is my other sister. Sara tormented my sister, perhaps more than I did. My parents love her. In many childhood memories and photo albums, she is there with us. She is an unofficial official Trimboli.
She's a leo like Dad. In my whole life, I have never met anyone even remotely like her. She is truly one of a kind. She was born in Kansas, raised in Pine Bush, and at the start of ninth grade when I set out for Long Island, she set out for Boston. This being said, my husband swears she's Latino. She's Irish and Native American. Her husband is Salvadorian. So, yes, she is bilingual, but has NO ACCENT AT ALL. Have I ever metioned my husband is very caucasian? Very Arkport? Yet, very awesome.
Sara has a Bachelors degree from Amherst in Sociology. She is also a licensed electrician. She had some trouble there because even in this day and age, no one wanted a woman apprentice. Silly with all the incentives to hire women. Sillier yet, after having met this incredible lady to not hire her. She is also the wife of an illegal immigrant and mother of three beautiful chilfren. She was a delivery driver for many years while in college, case manager for a few years after her kids were born, then she started working for a fellow installing alternative energy options. After awhile, she made her move and started her own company.
Check out the link to her company on my blog. Its called Solarias. She's an amazing girl, with an amazing mind. She was at 9, and is at 33.
We met on the first day of fifth grade in Mrs. Gregory's coat closet. Sara was a skinny little girl, who kind of looked like a boy. She greeted me ( who was an uncomfortable mess in a training bra I didnt need then and don't need now) with, " Who the Hell Are you?" Being brand new to EJ Russell Elementary School I replied, " Who the Hell wants to know?" And we have been friends ever since.
I am sure that from time to time I will extract some Sara tales from the vault, but for today, I want to wish her the Happiest of Birthdays. She shares it with Barrack Obama, who on August 4th gives a speech on Energy. That makes me feel positive. Bill Clinton was a Leo too!
Happy Birthday Sara. Thanks for always being MY friend. I love you.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Waitress in the Sky
I write alot about Atlanta here on my blog. And I guess not enough about the nineties. Conservative people usually loathe the nineties, but for me, they rocked. I use the word rocked in the literal sense. I left Long Island three days after graduation. We loaded up the Mustang and headed for Dixie. My parents were already there. I had no idea what to expect, I was broken hearted to leave my first love behind, but excited because secretly I had always wanted to live in the South. Why? Novels. I am now,at thirty three and was, at eighteen, a bookworm. Most of my favorite novels happen down South. So I was curious.
My family had already been there for a year before I arrived. My bedroom was all set up and lovely. Our house was the centerpiece of the neighborhood. I had never seen a real home so fine. I've been in mansions. This was our house. I knew why my mother loved it immediately, and I did too. I kind of knew that day that the Princess was home. Good Bye, Suffolk Co , L.I. Hello, Fayette, Co, Ga. I was unconciously bidding farewell to Billy Joel and saying hello to Miss Patsy Cline. Well, not forever or anything, just for the summer.
I started at Georgia State University in August of 1993. It was a lackluster career. I went to college expecting to be the next Murphy Brown. What I got was a culture shock. I loved the Urban campus, but I was, and still am a loner. I was never going to be a "joiner". Besides, there was sooooo much going on downtown. During the breaks between classes, I would guide my trusted steed along the streets of Atlanta exploring. The nineties were a different time. I didnt feel afraid of anything.
In Atlanta, I was just another face. In Fayetteville, I was a "Yankee". I had the greatest chinese food in a restaurant where you ate in the basement. I did think I might be murdered till I saw it was packed and air conditioned down there. I dont know the name of the place, I couldnt read the sign, but the girl in my Hawaiian Algebra Class told me about it. She was right,it was worth it. I visited every Fellini's Pizza and got wasted on beer in them with Penelope. I don't even drink beer. We loved the pizza and there was the greatest vibe happening then. The music was always good, and the beer just went down. Every once in a while we'd get a wild hair and dress up to go have desert at Cafe Intermezzo on Peachtree in Buckhead. We'd sit in a table tucked away, picking at some ridiculously priced extravagant desert and watch all the yuppies. We would smile and say thanks when they would send over drinks. We used fake names. She used, Joannah, and I used, Penelope. And guys used to say, "C'mon, those are fake names!" We'd just laugh. We spent A LOT of time in Little Five Points people watching. Or Shopping, playing pool at Good Ol Days, and on occasion getting tattooed at Sacred Heart. Sorry Mom. Its a generational thing. Be glad I never opted for a tongue ring.
Sometimes, we'd hit Spondivets near the Airport. We were underage, and racked up huge bar tabs. But the wait staff loved us. We were good to them, very patient and fun. The music playing was top notch. We brought in crowds. We were big tippers. They took American Express. On occasion we even ate. MMMmmm seafood. Beats Joe's Crab shack everytime. On one particular night, we were pretty wasted, and quietly discussing life in our own little corner when some recent flight attendant graduates rolled in from the Hilton Gardens down the road. They were loaded too. We minded our business. But apparently our laughter was loud, and they thought it was intended for them. So one of these future Stepford wives made a snarky comment about the gorgeous red hue of my hair. Do you remember Manic Panic hair color? Not very waspy I guess. I let it go, but Penelope; never known to be one to " let it go". And I love her for it.
We didnt fight, although we would have won. We didnt cause any trouble for our beloved wait staff. We simply began to sing. We sang a snappy little ditty by a kick ass group, The Replacements called, " Waitress in the sky." Because bitches, " Struttin up the aisle, big deal you get to fly, you aint nothin but a waitress in the sky..." Please keep in mind, I too was a waitress. I must say, Carrie and the rest of the girls loved us for it. Those flight attendants had been coming in for a while, and didn't tip as well as us...but were alot more demanding! In a truly ironic twist of fate, my beloved Penelope makes her living flying the friendly skies, at your service on American Airlines. She's simply the best damn waitress in the sky there is. She is much better in the sky than she was on land. Ask her, she'll agree.
I sure do miss the Replacements. Try finding one of their songs on the radio these days. Well, maybe if you live in a college town and there's an old ass DJ ( like in their thirties, or GASP forties!) who knows who they are. In Altlanta in the nineties there was 99x, chock full of Alternative guitar driven music, and the stellar, student run WRAS, Album 88 of Georgia State. Its still on, take a listen if you drive thru. They don't do internet streaming, or I'd be listening right now. Music was different then. The world was alot different then. Music was alot different for chicks then too. It was the era of Bikini Kill, Babes in Toyland, Hole, L7.... Melissa Etheridge, Tori Amos,Allison Krauss... you name it. Grungy, girly, it didn't matter. Everyone had a fanzine, even people who "hated Brenda". Now, in the days of corporate facism, we have Clear Channel. If you don't fit, you dont get played. God Bless college radio.
There was music everywhere. We went to the Masquerade weekly, sometimes just to dance. I wish I couls recall all of the shows we saw there. From Julianna Hatfield to the Dead Milkmen, we saw alot and had a blast doing it. Pre Show was just as fun, orchestrating the outfits ( oh, the outfits!) and dying the hair, getting a good buzz on. For us, it was like tailgating for football. An all day affair. Except when the Dead was in town. That could end up lasting all summer if the conditions were right.
{I worked at Turtles Music back then, and I met Penelope when she came in for an interview. I took her application and immediately liked her. I brought her application back and told my manager that we HAD to give her an interview because her name was Penelope for Christ sakes!
Well, they did. That was in 1993. We've been friends ever since. }
*Before long, I was a part of the management team at that record store. I was nineteen, and a girl. It really pissed off a male co worker who had only been there about a month or so, that I had that I got the job. He then applied at the place where I worked my second job as a waitress, and I wish I could explain to you the pain in his face when he got to train with me. Needless to say, on his first day on the floor on his own during his first little "rush" he quit. I swooped in, picked up his tables and walked out about a hundred bucks richer that day. Sorry bout your luck Steve. I hope you like women a bit better these days.
My family had already been there for a year before I arrived. My bedroom was all set up and lovely. Our house was the centerpiece of the neighborhood. I had never seen a real home so fine. I've been in mansions. This was our house. I knew why my mother loved it immediately, and I did too. I kind of knew that day that the Princess was home. Good Bye, Suffolk Co , L.I. Hello, Fayette, Co, Ga. I was unconciously bidding farewell to Billy Joel and saying hello to Miss Patsy Cline. Well, not forever or anything, just for the summer.
I started at Georgia State University in August of 1993. It was a lackluster career. I went to college expecting to be the next Murphy Brown. What I got was a culture shock. I loved the Urban campus, but I was, and still am a loner. I was never going to be a "joiner". Besides, there was sooooo much going on downtown. During the breaks between classes, I would guide my trusted steed along the streets of Atlanta exploring. The nineties were a different time. I didnt feel afraid of anything.
In Atlanta, I was just another face. In Fayetteville, I was a "Yankee". I had the greatest chinese food in a restaurant where you ate in the basement. I did think I might be murdered till I saw it was packed and air conditioned down there. I dont know the name of the place, I couldnt read the sign, but the girl in my Hawaiian Algebra Class told me about it. She was right,it was worth it. I visited every Fellini's Pizza and got wasted on beer in them with Penelope. I don't even drink beer. We loved the pizza and there was the greatest vibe happening then. The music was always good, and the beer just went down. Every once in a while we'd get a wild hair and dress up to go have desert at Cafe Intermezzo on Peachtree in Buckhead. We'd sit in a table tucked away, picking at some ridiculously priced extravagant desert and watch all the yuppies. We would smile and say thanks when they would send over drinks. We used fake names. She used, Joannah, and I used, Penelope. And guys used to say, "C'mon, those are fake names!" We'd just laugh. We spent A LOT of time in Little Five Points people watching. Or Shopping, playing pool at Good Ol Days, and on occasion getting tattooed at Sacred Heart. Sorry Mom. Its a generational thing. Be glad I never opted for a tongue ring.
Sometimes, we'd hit Spondivets near the Airport. We were underage, and racked up huge bar tabs. But the wait staff loved us. We were good to them, very patient and fun. The music playing was top notch. We brought in crowds. We were big tippers. They took American Express. On occasion we even ate. MMMmmm seafood. Beats Joe's Crab shack everytime. On one particular night, we were pretty wasted, and quietly discussing life in our own little corner when some recent flight attendant graduates rolled in from the Hilton Gardens down the road. They were loaded too. We minded our business. But apparently our laughter was loud, and they thought it was intended for them. So one of these future Stepford wives made a snarky comment about the gorgeous red hue of my hair. Do you remember Manic Panic hair color? Not very waspy I guess. I let it go, but Penelope; never known to be one to " let it go". And I love her for it.
We didnt fight, although we would have won. We didnt cause any trouble for our beloved wait staff. We simply began to sing. We sang a snappy little ditty by a kick ass group, The Replacements called, " Waitress in the sky." Because bitches, " Struttin up the aisle, big deal you get to fly, you aint nothin but a waitress in the sky..." Please keep in mind, I too was a waitress. I must say, Carrie and the rest of the girls loved us for it. Those flight attendants had been coming in for a while, and didn't tip as well as us...but were alot more demanding! In a truly ironic twist of fate, my beloved Penelope makes her living flying the friendly skies, at your service on American Airlines. She's simply the best damn waitress in the sky there is. She is much better in the sky than she was on land. Ask her, she'll agree.
I sure do miss the Replacements. Try finding one of their songs on the radio these days. Well, maybe if you live in a college town and there's an old ass DJ ( like in their thirties, or GASP forties!) who knows who they are. In Altlanta in the nineties there was 99x, chock full of Alternative guitar driven music, and the stellar, student run WRAS, Album 88 of Georgia State. Its still on, take a listen if you drive thru. They don't do internet streaming, or I'd be listening right now. Music was different then. The world was alot different then. Music was alot different for chicks then too. It was the era of Bikini Kill, Babes in Toyland, Hole, L7.... Melissa Etheridge, Tori Amos,Allison Krauss... you name it. Grungy, girly, it didn't matter. Everyone had a fanzine, even people who "hated Brenda". Now, in the days of corporate facism, we have Clear Channel. If you don't fit, you dont get played. God Bless college radio.
There was music everywhere. We went to the Masquerade weekly, sometimes just to dance. I wish I couls recall all of the shows we saw there. From Julianna Hatfield to the Dead Milkmen, we saw alot and had a blast doing it. Pre Show was just as fun, orchestrating the outfits ( oh, the outfits!) and dying the hair, getting a good buzz on. For us, it was like tailgating for football. An all day affair. Except when the Dead was in town. That could end up lasting all summer if the conditions were right.
{I worked at Turtles Music back then, and I met Penelope when she came in for an interview. I took her application and immediately liked her. I brought her application back and told my manager that we HAD to give her an interview because her name was Penelope for Christ sakes!
Well, they did. That was in 1993. We've been friends ever since. }
*Before long, I was a part of the management team at that record store. I was nineteen, and a girl. It really pissed off a male co worker who had only been there about a month or so, that I had that I got the job. He then applied at the place where I worked my second job as a waitress, and I wish I could explain to you the pain in his face when he got to train with me. Needless to say, on his first day on the floor on his own during his first little "rush" he quit. I swooped in, picked up his tables and walked out about a hundred bucks richer that day. Sorry bout your luck Steve. I hope you like women a bit better these days.
I miss that time. Of course it may have something to do with the freedom of being young, twentysomething and childless then. You didnt need credit to put gas in your car to get to the Northside for the night. WHen I lived there, gas was under a dollar a gallon. Man, how the times have changed. Still no woman president. Republicans imposing their values on us at every turn. The media has disapointed and pulled more than a few "quick ones" on us. Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers rule the charts while The Hold Steady and Kings of Leon get no play. But as Bob Dylan once sang, and is often quoted, " The times, they are a changin..."
And I for one, thing maybe a good shot of the sixties, mixed with a healthy dose of the nineties would suit us pretty well right about now. Im done, I have purged enough memories from the rapidly declining mind for this afternoon. It was a bumpy ride, but I enjoyed it. Hope yall did too.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Birthday Party, Oh My!
Sunday was Sophia's fourth birthday. We had her Birthday Party on Saturday. Nothing too extravagant. Just your normal backyard Princess Party. I must say I am glad it's only once a year. I waited a very long time for my daughter. And we are very tight. She's the image of me as a child...with blonde hair.
She knows she is the Princess, as I did. She refers to herself as the Princess.
So when I asked her what kind of party she wanted, she told me, " A Princess Party, Momma!"
So I did all the research. I found a couple of castle cakes and tried them out. I searched high and low and found dress up heels and tiaras for all the girls and pirate swords for the boys. Her favorite color is purple, so I went to Rochester to find the perfect Princess dress. Just so she didnt have to wear any of the dozen other Princess dresses she already has. We set up her Princess Ariel Under the Sea Castle.
So when the big day arrived we were all ready. Her guests were all arriving, and I was trying to get her in her dress. It was a dress up Princess Party after all! She was crying hysterically, of course! But she did calm down after a half hour or so. We had so much fun. Since the kids are small we had to figure a game they could play so we played Duck, Duck, Goose....but called it Princess, Princess, Stepsister.
The girls all wore dresses while their brothers AKA Pirates either kidnapped or protected them. They loaded up on sweets and chips and dip. There were alot of giggles and screeches from Ariels castle. And some Pricesses took to hanging out under the trampoline.
Now I have to admit, It was very hot and humid as I made her castle cake. It ended up a wee bit lopsided the next morning. But the kids thought it was awesome and everybody had a nice time. Its a lot of work these birthday parties, but Im glad I got one kid with a Summer Birthday!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Feminism. Don't Roll your Eyes at Me!
I have not blogged much about Politics here on Blogger. I do occasionally repost things I find, but have tried to stay away from this for various reasons. But I am political and opinionated. And I am going to rant. And this is my opinion.....
I was raised by my Mother, who is a wonderful force to be reckoned with. She taught us we could do anything we wanted, and she supported us everystep of the way. My Mom has never wanted us to be limited by our gender. My sister and I were coming up in the world in the era of the "Riot Grrrl". Between that and MOM, there was little chance we'd take no for an answer very often.
Now I am going to do some ranting here. So dont roll your eyes at me. I am a feminist. These days, because a woman had the AUDACITY to run for president, Feminism is a bad word. In the Primaries, talking heads like Keith Olberman and Chris Matthews repeatedly made dispespectful, sexist remarks in regards to Senator Clinton, near daily. And this behavior seems to be ok, at least in the minds of most men. I dont think its okay to imply someone should take Senator Clinton into a room and beat her up till she concedes, okay Keith? If you even bring the subject up, the eye rolloing begins, as if sexism isnt a legitimate problem. Racism, yes. Sexism, no. I think they're both deplorable.
Now speaking as a woman, I take this dismissal of sexism very personally. Especially when its done by men, but it's infuriating when it's done by women. I don't want to totally make this about Hillary Clinton, because I am now 100 % behind Barack Obama. I had some issues with how Hillary's campaign was handled, and specifically with a douchebag named Mark Penn. But I have never in my life seen the tides change so quickly. During the primary season, if you were supporting Hillary, you had to do so quietly. Otherwise, you ran the risk of being ridiculed. Often, I was accused of voting for Hillary just because she was a woman. Well, speaking as a woman, that's offensive.
For the first time in my adult life ( I was in 1st grade when Ferraro was a Veep candidate) I had the opportunity to vote for a woman. I have ALWAYS casted my vote for the Democratic MALE candidate. Your damned right I was voting for the woman. Not to mention she was my senator, who had done a great job in my state for us working families and children, someone who had the skyrocketing cost of healthcare on her mind.....not to mention a past failure she wanted to right! It was unpopular to like Hillary. Everywhere you turned, bad things about Hillary. I proudly voted for Hillary in the primaries, with my daughter at my side.
Now Im not going to say that the women out there who arent going to vote, or that are going to vote McCain because of Hillary's primary defeat are helping matters. I dont hold Obama responsible for the mess. I think MSNBC, and the Huffington Post, Rolling Stone and Matt Taibbi had plenty to do with the anti Hillary bias. And I like all of those outlets. I just disagreed with them on throwing Senator Clinton under the bus, so to speak.
So to close out my rant Im going to end with this....I want to thank Hillary Clinton. The ceilings a bit closer now. There have been many times in my life where I have been doubted because of my gender. ( stupid fools!) There have been times I have been on the fast track and then passed over because I chose to add to my family. I have been ignored in business dealing because I was only "the wife". We live in a country where insurance companies covered VIAGRA before Birth Control! What does that say? And employers still don't nessecarily (sorry, bad spelling) have to cover maternity. Men still make more money than women on average for doing the same work. So Roll your eyes. But it's a whole new ballgame now guys. Were not going anywhere but to the top. Leave Hillary and Michelle alone. And to those women thinking of sitting this one out or voting McCain, I beg you to reconsider. Its not so long weve had this right to vote. I find it a crying shame to our sisters who fought so hard to secure that right for us. John McCain has said he want to appoint more conservative judges to the Supreme Court to overturn Roe V. Wade. Then we can be stripped of our reproductive rights. Senator Obama has two young daughters, he cares about our issues. This is no longer a mans world. Its Our World. All of ours. Men, Women, Black, White, Gay or Straight.......
So be good to each other. And vote Democratic for the love of America!!!
Peace!
I was raised by my Mother, who is a wonderful force to be reckoned with. She taught us we could do anything we wanted, and she supported us everystep of the way. My Mom has never wanted us to be limited by our gender. My sister and I were coming up in the world in the era of the "Riot Grrrl". Between that and MOM, there was little chance we'd take no for an answer very often.
Now I am going to do some ranting here. So dont roll your eyes at me. I am a feminist. These days, because a woman had the AUDACITY to run for president, Feminism is a bad word. In the Primaries, talking heads like Keith Olberman and Chris Matthews repeatedly made dispespectful, sexist remarks in regards to Senator Clinton, near daily. And this behavior seems to be ok, at least in the minds of most men. I dont think its okay to imply someone should take Senator Clinton into a room and beat her up till she concedes, okay Keith? If you even bring the subject up, the eye rolloing begins, as if sexism isnt a legitimate problem. Racism, yes. Sexism, no. I think they're both deplorable.
Now speaking as a woman, I take this dismissal of sexism very personally. Especially when its done by men, but it's infuriating when it's done by women. I don't want to totally make this about Hillary Clinton, because I am now 100 % behind Barack Obama. I had some issues with how Hillary's campaign was handled, and specifically with a douchebag named Mark Penn. But I have never in my life seen the tides change so quickly. During the primary season, if you were supporting Hillary, you had to do so quietly. Otherwise, you ran the risk of being ridiculed. Often, I was accused of voting for Hillary just because she was a woman. Well, speaking as a woman, that's offensive.
For the first time in my adult life ( I was in 1st grade when Ferraro was a Veep candidate) I had the opportunity to vote for a woman. I have ALWAYS casted my vote for the Democratic MALE candidate. Your damned right I was voting for the woman. Not to mention she was my senator, who had done a great job in my state for us working families and children, someone who had the skyrocketing cost of healthcare on her mind.....not to mention a past failure she wanted to right! It was unpopular to like Hillary. Everywhere you turned, bad things about Hillary. I proudly voted for Hillary in the primaries, with my daughter at my side.
Now Im not going to say that the women out there who arent going to vote, or that are going to vote McCain because of Hillary's primary defeat are helping matters. I dont hold Obama responsible for the mess. I think MSNBC, and the Huffington Post, Rolling Stone and Matt Taibbi had plenty to do with the anti Hillary bias. And I like all of those outlets. I just disagreed with them on throwing Senator Clinton under the bus, so to speak.
So to close out my rant Im going to end with this....I want to thank Hillary Clinton. The ceilings a bit closer now. There have been many times in my life where I have been doubted because of my gender. ( stupid fools!) There have been times I have been on the fast track and then passed over because I chose to add to my family. I have been ignored in business dealing because I was only "the wife". We live in a country where insurance companies covered VIAGRA before Birth Control! What does that say? And employers still don't nessecarily (sorry, bad spelling) have to cover maternity. Men still make more money than women on average for doing the same work. So Roll your eyes. But it's a whole new ballgame now guys. Were not going anywhere but to the top. Leave Hillary and Michelle alone. And to those women thinking of sitting this one out or voting McCain, I beg you to reconsider. Its not so long weve had this right to vote. I find it a crying shame to our sisters who fought so hard to secure that right for us. John McCain has said he want to appoint more conservative judges to the Supreme Court to overturn Roe V. Wade. Then we can be stripped of our reproductive rights. Senator Obama has two young daughters, he cares about our issues. This is no longer a mans world. Its Our World. All of ours. Men, Women, Black, White, Gay or Straight.......
So be good to each other. And vote Democratic for the love of America!!!
Peace!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
My Children's Fathers Day Creations
My husband is a terrific, hard working Dad. He spoils us all and tried very hard to keep us all happy. The kids are always so proud of what they craft for him at school. This year was no exception. It came with the added bonus of hilarity. I hope you parents can relate and see the humor.
On Fathers Day, he is a champ and all smiles as he is handed yet another construction paper "tie" imprinted with " Why is Dad so thoroughly Mad" . Just so you know, This is Masons second go round in Kindergarten. Jackson is in second grade, bringing the grand total in ties hanging in his bedroom to 3. But He smiles and reads it excitedly and thanks his son and hugs him.
Then he reads the card.
Memories With My Dad ( and theres a nicely colored orange Papa Bear with cub)
open it up and it says " I liked it when ___________________" and they draw a corresponding picture, then the other side says You made me laugh when ___________.
So Masons answers are: when we built a puppet stage. At this point Tom raises an eyebrow and looks at me. He's thinking maybe he forgot this. I know because Im his wife and we finish eachothers sentences. But I know whats going on and I start to laugh.
The next answer is " when a board hit you in the head." Now Tom is straight out laughing hysterically. Neither of these things EVER happened. Of all the things he DID build with his son, he chose to make something up. And I can assure you that if a board did hit him in the head, Mason would have thought it was very funny. But he most likely would not have laughed when it happened. We are sitting at the table laughing our asses off.
Tom asks Mason, " Did you make this stuff up?"
Mason replies, " Well, yeah... I just said what I thought was good and drew a picture."
Happy Fathers Day Dad! From the ADD one. God knows he loves you dearly.....but this card thing is a bit much. He then gave him a beautiful tile he decorated with the word DAD. And MAN was he proud he knew how to spell Dad. ....
Then we got out Sophias gift from YTots. They made little laminated cards for Dad. On one side said MY Dad is great because: and then the wee ones dictated their messages and the teachers wrote them down. On the other side was: A Picture of my Dad.
I wonder what in the heck those teachers think of us. I really do.
I am going to post, verbatim, Sophias ode to her Daddy.
My Dad is great because:
My Dad lets me go to Simmons-Rockwell.
And he lets me go to the "Big" library with my Mom.
My Dad brought home Harleigh the Shih Tzu and then peed in the Pacifica.
love, Sophia
Let me clarify something, Harley, not Daddy, peed in the Pacifica.
You did notice she got "shih tzu" her favorite "Bad Word" in her Fathers Day Card, right?
Now about that picture.....
I have a very handsome husband. Blonde hair, green eyes, nice bod, glasses, receding hairline, great teeth and smile. I happen to think he's the cats meow.
The picture was a circle with stick arms and legs, Mr. Magoo glasses, and "bald, like Dad" says Sophia. At this time I must say that this child loves her Daddy " like a fat kid loves cake". She adores him.
But all these travesties were fine, we laughed till we cried. Jackson made him a truly sweet card. It said " My Dad is nice, kind, smart, brave, strong, cool, funny, helpful, wonderful, handsome! My Dad deserves a trophy because he gives me stuff from his childhood. I also think he is the best because he buys mew toys. I like him because he brought me my dog. I like when he shows me his trophies he won. He is very nice. I love my Dad. Happy Fathers Day.
Well, Dad. We love you for all these reasons and more. We love you for making us a family. I love you for being you. I love you changing diapers, making bottles, and getting the kids in their car seats. I love you for finding ways to spend more time with us, like I know you are always doing.
I love you because you have probably spent a month of your life jumping on the trampoline, another month at the soccer fields, and you're fine with it. We all think you're totally awesome, because you are. We know why you do what you do, and that were at the heart of your world. Each and every one of us has had the honor of watching you come swooping in to save the day. You are what heros are made of. You are ours. We love you. Happy Fathers Day Tom.
On Fathers Day, he is a champ and all smiles as he is handed yet another construction paper "tie" imprinted with " Why is Dad so thoroughly Mad" . Just so you know, This is Masons second go round in Kindergarten. Jackson is in second grade, bringing the grand total in ties hanging in his bedroom to 3. But He smiles and reads it excitedly and thanks his son and hugs him.
Then he reads the card.
Memories With My Dad ( and theres a nicely colored orange Papa Bear with cub)
open it up and it says " I liked it when ___________________" and they draw a corresponding picture, then the other side says You made me laugh when ___________.
So Masons answers are: when we built a puppet stage. At this point Tom raises an eyebrow and looks at me. He's thinking maybe he forgot this. I know because Im his wife and we finish eachothers sentences. But I know whats going on and I start to laugh.
The next answer is " when a board hit you in the head." Now Tom is straight out laughing hysterically. Neither of these things EVER happened. Of all the things he DID build with his son, he chose to make something up. And I can assure you that if a board did hit him in the head, Mason would have thought it was very funny. But he most likely would not have laughed when it happened. We are sitting at the table laughing our asses off.
Tom asks Mason, " Did you make this stuff up?"
Mason replies, " Well, yeah... I just said what I thought was good and drew a picture."
Happy Fathers Day Dad! From the ADD one. God knows he loves you dearly.....but this card thing is a bit much. He then gave him a beautiful tile he decorated with the word DAD. And MAN was he proud he knew how to spell Dad. ....
Then we got out Sophias gift from YTots. They made little laminated cards for Dad. On one side said MY Dad is great because: and then the wee ones dictated their messages and the teachers wrote them down. On the other side was: A Picture of my Dad.
I wonder what in the heck those teachers think of us. I really do.
I am going to post, verbatim, Sophias ode to her Daddy.
My Dad is great because:
My Dad lets me go to Simmons-Rockwell.
And he lets me go to the "Big" library with my Mom.
My Dad brought home Harleigh the Shih Tzu and then peed in the Pacifica.
love, Sophia
Let me clarify something, Harley, not Daddy, peed in the Pacifica.
You did notice she got "shih tzu" her favorite "Bad Word" in her Fathers Day Card, right?
Now about that picture.....
I have a very handsome husband. Blonde hair, green eyes, nice bod, glasses, receding hairline, great teeth and smile. I happen to think he's the cats meow.
The picture was a circle with stick arms and legs, Mr. Magoo glasses, and "bald, like Dad" says Sophia. At this time I must say that this child loves her Daddy " like a fat kid loves cake". She adores him.
But all these travesties were fine, we laughed till we cried. Jackson made him a truly sweet card. It said " My Dad is nice, kind, smart, brave, strong, cool, funny, helpful, wonderful, handsome! My Dad deserves a trophy because he gives me stuff from his childhood. I also think he is the best because he buys mew toys. I like him because he brought me my dog. I like when he shows me his trophies he won. He is very nice. I love my Dad. Happy Fathers Day.
Well, Dad. We love you for all these reasons and more. We love you for making us a family. I love you for being you. I love you changing diapers, making bottles, and getting the kids in their car seats. I love you for finding ways to spend more time with us, like I know you are always doing.
I love you because you have probably spent a month of your life jumping on the trampoline, another month at the soccer fields, and you're fine with it. We all think you're totally awesome, because you are. We know why you do what you do, and that were at the heart of your world. Each and every one of us has had the honor of watching you come swooping in to save the day. You are what heros are made of. You are ours. We love you. Happy Fathers Day Tom.
Monday, June 16, 2008
99% of the time
I have been working very hard over the past two years to try to conquer the beast within. Sound ridiculous? Well.....I'm often driven by emotion. Sometimes something very small can set me off. I have cried at commercials. Sometimes, they're not even sad. I scream at people in my car when they drive retarded because they're busy chatting away on their phones. I get pissed off when bad things happen to my friends and family. I'm that kind of person. In my younger days, I was the type of girl who threw punches. I never gave two shits how big you were. Now, I'm a parent, and I don't want my children to witness this sociopathic behavior...so as I said earlier, I am trying to tame the beast. I am concious of these behaviors. I take medication to help even me out, and to ward off migraines. ( they are related-believe it or not! and the drug is my savior.) I eat a healthy diet, and I excersize regularly to make sure I feel my best. Hell, I even take to my blog to vent.
But there are times like today, when I feel like I have tried all the alternative routes. I have talked till I am blue in the face, a million second chances have been given, and still someone very, very dear to me I am watching get kicked around. Well, at least I am watching him be scapegoated so someone else can be blameless. And because of my Momma bear complex, sisterly love or a good old fashioned pissing contest I want nothing more than to go out and give a well deserved Trimboli- style Beat Down. And it truly shames me. I hate war and violence. I hate that part of me. But its always kind of there. I don't think women are supposed to have this problem, and I feel such inner guilt over these feelings. It isnt right to let people make you feel this way. Normally, I am able to let it go. But every once in awhile.....
Will I ever be able to function without this anger mechanism? Or am I destined to be an angry old bitch?
But there are times like today, when I feel like I have tried all the alternative routes. I have talked till I am blue in the face, a million second chances have been given, and still someone very, very dear to me I am watching get kicked around. Well, at least I am watching him be scapegoated so someone else can be blameless. And because of my Momma bear complex, sisterly love or a good old fashioned pissing contest I want nothing more than to go out and give a well deserved Trimboli- style Beat Down. And it truly shames me. I hate war and violence. I hate that part of me. But its always kind of there. I don't think women are supposed to have this problem, and I feel such inner guilt over these feelings. It isnt right to let people make you feel this way. Normally, I am able to let it go. But every once in awhile.....
Will I ever be able to function without this anger mechanism? Or am I destined to be an angry old bitch?
Obamas Fathers Day Speech
Here is the speech Obama delivered at Church on Fathers Day. Wow.
Obama 2008!
Good morning. It's good to be home on this Father's Day with my girls, and it's an honor to spend some time with all of you today in the house of our Lord.
At the end of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus closes by saying, "Whoever hears these words of mine, and does them, shall be likened to a wise man who built his house upon a rock: and the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house, and it fell not, for it was founded upon a rock." [Matthew 7: 24-25]
Here at Apostolic, you are blessed to worship in a house that has been founded on the rock of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. But it is also built on another rock, another foundation - and that rock is Bishop Arthur Brazier. In forty-eight years, he has built this congregation from just a few hundred to more than 20,000 strong - a congregation that, because of his leadership, has braved the fierce winds and heavy rains of violence and poverty; joblessness and hopelessness. Because of his work and his ministry, there are more graduates and fewer gang members in the neighborhoods surrounding this church. There are more homes and fewer homeless. There is more community and less chaos because Bishop Brazier continued the march for justice that he began by Dr. King's side all those years ago. He is the reason this house has stood tall for half a century. And on this Father's Day, it must make him proud to know that the man now charged with keeping its foundation strong is his son and your new pastor, Reverend Byron Brazier.
Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives, we are reminded today that family is the most important. And we are called to recognize and honor how critical every father is to that foundation. They are teachers and coaches. They are mentors and role models. They are examples of success and the men who constantly push us toward it.
But if we are honest with ourselves, we'll admit that what too many fathers also are is missing - missing from too many lives and too many homes. They have abandoned their responsibilities, acting like boys instead of men. And the foundations of our families are weaker because of it.
You and I know how true this is in the African-American community. We know that more than half of all black children live in single-parent households, a number that has doubled - doubled - since we were children. We know the statistics - that children who grow up without a father are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime; nine times more likely to drop out of schools and twenty times more likely to end up in prison. They are more likely to have behavioral problems, or run away from home, or become teenage parents themselves. And the foundations of our community are weaker because of it.
How many times in the last year has this city lost a child at the hands of another child? How many times have our hearts stopped in the middle of the night with the sound of a gunshot or a siren? How many teenagers have we seen hanging around on street corners when they should be sitting in a classroom? How many are sitting in prison when they should be working, or at least looking for a job? How many in this generation are we willing to lose to poverty or violence or addiction? How many?
Yes, we need more cops on the street. Yes, we need fewer guns in the hands of people who shouldn't have them. Yes, we need more money for our schools, and more outstanding teachers in the classroom, and more afterschool programs for our children. Yes, we need more jobs and more job training and more opportunity in our communities.
But we also need families to raise our children. We need fathers to realize that responsibility does not end at conception. We need them to realize that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child - it's the courage to raise one.
We need to help all the mothers out there who are raising these kids by themselves; the mothers who drop them off at school, go to work, pick up them up in the afternoon, work another shift, get dinner, make lunches, pay the bills, fix the house, and all the other things it takes both parents to do. So many of these women are doing a heroic job, but they need support. They need another parent. Their children need another parent. That's what keeps their foundation strong. It's what keeps the foundation of our country strong.
I know what it means to have an absent father, although my circumstances weren't as tough as they are for many young people today. Even though my father left us when I was two years old, and I only knew him from the letters he wrote and the stories that my family told, I was luckier than most. I grew up in Hawaii, and had two wonderful grandparents from Kansas who poured everything they had into helping my mother raise my sister and me - who worked with her to teach us about love and respect and the obligations we have to one another. I screwed up more often than I should've, but I got plenty of second chances. And even though we didn't have a lot of money, scholarships gave me the opportunity to go to some of the best schools in the country. A lot of kids don't get these chances today. There is no margin for error in their lives. So my own story is different in that way.
Still, I know the toll that being a single parent took on my mother - how she struggled at times to the pay bills; to give us the things that other kids had; to play all the roles that both parents are supposed to play. And I know the toll it took on me. So I resolved many years ago that it was my obligation to break the cycle - that if I could be anything in life, I would be a good father to my girls; that if I could give them anything, I would give them that rock - that foundation - on which to build their lives. And that would be the greatest gift I could offer.
I say this knowing that I have been an imperfect father - knowing that I have made mistakes and will continue to make more; wishing that I could be home for my girls and my wife more than I am right now. I say this knowing all of these things because even as we are imperfect, even as we face difficult circumstances, there are still certain lessons we must strive to live and learn as fathers - whether we are black or white; rich or poor; from the South Side or the wealthiest suburb.
The first is setting an example of excellence for our children - because if we want to set high expectations for them, we've got to set high expectations for ourselves. It's great if you have a job; it's even better if you have a college degree. It's a wonderful thing if you are married and living in a home with your children, but don't just sit in the house and watch "SportsCenter" all weekend long. That's why so many children are growing up in front of the television. As fathers and parents, we've got to spend more time with them, and help them with their homework, and replace the video game or the remote control with a book once in awhile. That's how we build that foundation.
We know that education is everything to our children's future. We know that they will no longer just compete for good jobs with children from Indiana, but children from India and China and all over the world. We know the work and the studying and the level of education that requires.
You know, sometimes I'll go to an eighth-grade graduation and there's all that pomp and circumstance and gowns and flowers. And I think to myself, it's just eighth grade. To really compete, they need to graduate high school, and then they need to graduate college, and they probably need a graduate degree too. An eighth-grade education doesn't cut it today. Let's give them a handshake and tell them to get their butts back in the library!
It's up to us - as fathers and parents - to instill this ethic of excellence in our children. It's up to us to say to our daughters, don't ever let images on TV tell you what you are worth, because I expect you to dream without limit and reach for those goals. It's up to us to tell our sons, those songs on the radio may glorify violence, but in my house we live glory to achievement, self respect, and hard work. It's up to us to set these high expectations. And that means meeting those expectations ourselves. That means setting examples of excellence in our own lives.
The second thing we need to do as fathers is pass along the value of empathy to our children. Not sympathy, but empathy - the ability to stand in somebody else's shoes; to look at the world through their eyes. Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in "us," that we forget about our obligations to one another. There's a culture in our society that says remembering these obligations is somehow soft - that we can't show weakness, and so therefore we can't show kindness.
But our young boys and girls see that. They see when you are ignoring or mistreating your wife. They see when you are inconsiderate at home; or when you are distant; or when you are thinking only of yourself. And so it's no surprise when we see that behavior in our schools or on our streets. That's why we pass on the values of empathy and kindness to our children by living them. We need to show our kids that you're not strong by putting other people down - you're strong by lifting them up. That's our responsibility as fathers.
And by the way - it's a responsibility that also extends to Washington. Because if fathers are doing their part; if they're taking our responsibilities seriously to be there for their children, and set high expectations for them, and instill in them a sense of excellence and empathy, then our government should meet them halfway.
We should be making it easier for fathers who make responsible choices and harder for those who avoid them. We should get rid of the financial penalties we impose on married couples right now, and start making sure that every dime of child support goes directly to helping children instead of some bureaucrat. We should reward fathers who pay that child support with job training and job opportunities and a larger Earned Income Tax Credit that can help them pay the bills. We should expand programs where registered nurses visit expectant and new mothers and help them learn how to care for themselves before the baby is born and what to do after - programs that have helped increase father involvement, women's employment, and children's readiness for school. We should help these new families care for their children by expanding maternity and paternity leave, and we should guarantee every worker more paid sick leave so they can stay home to take care of their child without losing their income.
We should take all of these steps to build a strong foundation for our children. But we should also know that even if we do; even if we meet our obligations as fathers and parents; even if Washington does its part too, we will still face difficult challenges in our lives. There will still be days of struggle and heartache. The rains will still come and the winds will still blow.
And that is why the final lesson we must learn as fathers is also the greatest gift we can pass on to our children - and that is the gift of hope.
I'm not talking about an idle hope that's little more than blind optimism or willful ignorance of the problems we face. I'm talking about hope as that spirit inside us that insists, despite all evidence to the contrary, that something better is waiting for us if we're willing to work for it and fight for it. If we are willing to believe.
I was answering questions at a town hall meeting in Wisconsin the other day and a young man raised his hand, and I figured he'd ask about college tuition or energy or maybe the war in Iraq. But instead he looked at me very seriously and he asked, "What does life mean to you?"
Now, I have to admit that I wasn't quite prepared for that one. I think I stammered for a little bit, but then I stopped and gave it some thought, and I said this:
When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me - how do I make my way in the world, and how do I become successful and how do I get the things that I want.
But now, my life revolves around my two little girls. And what I think about is what kind of world I'm leaving them. Are they living in a county where there's a huge gap between a few who are wealthy and a whole bunch of people who are struggling every day? Are they living in a county that is still divided by race? A country where, because they're girls, they don't have as much opportunity as boys do? Are they living in a country where we are hated around the world because we don't cooperate effectively with other nations? Are they living a world that is in grave danger because of what we've done to its climate?
And what I've realized is that life doesn't count for much unless you're willing to do your small part to leave our children - all of our children - a better world. Even if it's difficult. Even if the work seems great. Even if we don't get very far in our lifetime.
That is our ultimate responsibility as fathers and parents. We try. We hope. We do what we can to build our house upon the sturdiest rock. And when the winds come, and the rains fall, and they beat upon that house, we keep faith that our Father will be there to guide us, and watch over us, and protect us, and lead His children through the darkest of storms into light of a better day. That is my prayer for all of us on this Father's Day, and that is my hope for this country in the years ahead. May God Bless you and your children. Thank you.
Obama 2008!
Good morning. It's good to be home on this Father's Day with my girls, and it's an honor to spend some time with all of you today in the house of our Lord.
At the end of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus closes by saying, "Whoever hears these words of mine, and does them, shall be likened to a wise man who built his house upon a rock: and the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house, and it fell not, for it was founded upon a rock." [Matthew 7: 24-25]
Here at Apostolic, you are blessed to worship in a house that has been founded on the rock of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. But it is also built on another rock, another foundation - and that rock is Bishop Arthur Brazier. In forty-eight years, he has built this congregation from just a few hundred to more than 20,000 strong - a congregation that, because of his leadership, has braved the fierce winds and heavy rains of violence and poverty; joblessness and hopelessness. Because of his work and his ministry, there are more graduates and fewer gang members in the neighborhoods surrounding this church. There are more homes and fewer homeless. There is more community and less chaos because Bishop Brazier continued the march for justice that he began by Dr. King's side all those years ago. He is the reason this house has stood tall for half a century. And on this Father's Day, it must make him proud to know that the man now charged with keeping its foundation strong is his son and your new pastor, Reverend Byron Brazier.
Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives, we are reminded today that family is the most important. And we are called to recognize and honor how critical every father is to that foundation. They are teachers and coaches. They are mentors and role models. They are examples of success and the men who constantly push us toward it.
But if we are honest with ourselves, we'll admit that what too many fathers also are is missing - missing from too many lives and too many homes. They have abandoned their responsibilities, acting like boys instead of men. And the foundations of our families are weaker because of it.
You and I know how true this is in the African-American community. We know that more than half of all black children live in single-parent households, a number that has doubled - doubled - since we were children. We know the statistics - that children who grow up without a father are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime; nine times more likely to drop out of schools and twenty times more likely to end up in prison. They are more likely to have behavioral problems, or run away from home, or become teenage parents themselves. And the foundations of our community are weaker because of it.
How many times in the last year has this city lost a child at the hands of another child? How many times have our hearts stopped in the middle of the night with the sound of a gunshot or a siren? How many teenagers have we seen hanging around on street corners when they should be sitting in a classroom? How many are sitting in prison when they should be working, or at least looking for a job? How many in this generation are we willing to lose to poverty or violence or addiction? How many?
Yes, we need more cops on the street. Yes, we need fewer guns in the hands of people who shouldn't have them. Yes, we need more money for our schools, and more outstanding teachers in the classroom, and more afterschool programs for our children. Yes, we need more jobs and more job training and more opportunity in our communities.
But we also need families to raise our children. We need fathers to realize that responsibility does not end at conception. We need them to realize that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child - it's the courage to raise one.
We need to help all the mothers out there who are raising these kids by themselves; the mothers who drop them off at school, go to work, pick up them up in the afternoon, work another shift, get dinner, make lunches, pay the bills, fix the house, and all the other things it takes both parents to do. So many of these women are doing a heroic job, but they need support. They need another parent. Their children need another parent. That's what keeps their foundation strong. It's what keeps the foundation of our country strong.
I know what it means to have an absent father, although my circumstances weren't as tough as they are for many young people today. Even though my father left us when I was two years old, and I only knew him from the letters he wrote and the stories that my family told, I was luckier than most. I grew up in Hawaii, and had two wonderful grandparents from Kansas who poured everything they had into helping my mother raise my sister and me - who worked with her to teach us about love and respect and the obligations we have to one another. I screwed up more often than I should've, but I got plenty of second chances. And even though we didn't have a lot of money, scholarships gave me the opportunity to go to some of the best schools in the country. A lot of kids don't get these chances today. There is no margin for error in their lives. So my own story is different in that way.
Still, I know the toll that being a single parent took on my mother - how she struggled at times to the pay bills; to give us the things that other kids had; to play all the roles that both parents are supposed to play. And I know the toll it took on me. So I resolved many years ago that it was my obligation to break the cycle - that if I could be anything in life, I would be a good father to my girls; that if I could give them anything, I would give them that rock - that foundation - on which to build their lives. And that would be the greatest gift I could offer.
I say this knowing that I have been an imperfect father - knowing that I have made mistakes and will continue to make more; wishing that I could be home for my girls and my wife more than I am right now. I say this knowing all of these things because even as we are imperfect, even as we face difficult circumstances, there are still certain lessons we must strive to live and learn as fathers - whether we are black or white; rich or poor; from the South Side or the wealthiest suburb.
The first is setting an example of excellence for our children - because if we want to set high expectations for them, we've got to set high expectations for ourselves. It's great if you have a job; it's even better if you have a college degree. It's a wonderful thing if you are married and living in a home with your children, but don't just sit in the house and watch "SportsCenter" all weekend long. That's why so many children are growing up in front of the television. As fathers and parents, we've got to spend more time with them, and help them with their homework, and replace the video game or the remote control with a book once in awhile. That's how we build that foundation.
We know that education is everything to our children's future. We know that they will no longer just compete for good jobs with children from Indiana, but children from India and China and all over the world. We know the work and the studying and the level of education that requires.
You know, sometimes I'll go to an eighth-grade graduation and there's all that pomp and circumstance and gowns and flowers. And I think to myself, it's just eighth grade. To really compete, they need to graduate high school, and then they need to graduate college, and they probably need a graduate degree too. An eighth-grade education doesn't cut it today. Let's give them a handshake and tell them to get their butts back in the library!
It's up to us - as fathers and parents - to instill this ethic of excellence in our children. It's up to us to say to our daughters, don't ever let images on TV tell you what you are worth, because I expect you to dream without limit and reach for those goals. It's up to us to tell our sons, those songs on the radio may glorify violence, but in my house we live glory to achievement, self respect, and hard work. It's up to us to set these high expectations. And that means meeting those expectations ourselves. That means setting examples of excellence in our own lives.
The second thing we need to do as fathers is pass along the value of empathy to our children. Not sympathy, but empathy - the ability to stand in somebody else's shoes; to look at the world through their eyes. Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in "us," that we forget about our obligations to one another. There's a culture in our society that says remembering these obligations is somehow soft - that we can't show weakness, and so therefore we can't show kindness.
But our young boys and girls see that. They see when you are ignoring or mistreating your wife. They see when you are inconsiderate at home; or when you are distant; or when you are thinking only of yourself. And so it's no surprise when we see that behavior in our schools or on our streets. That's why we pass on the values of empathy and kindness to our children by living them. We need to show our kids that you're not strong by putting other people down - you're strong by lifting them up. That's our responsibility as fathers.
And by the way - it's a responsibility that also extends to Washington. Because if fathers are doing their part; if they're taking our responsibilities seriously to be there for their children, and set high expectations for them, and instill in them a sense of excellence and empathy, then our government should meet them halfway.
We should be making it easier for fathers who make responsible choices and harder for those who avoid them. We should get rid of the financial penalties we impose on married couples right now, and start making sure that every dime of child support goes directly to helping children instead of some bureaucrat. We should reward fathers who pay that child support with job training and job opportunities and a larger Earned Income Tax Credit that can help them pay the bills. We should expand programs where registered nurses visit expectant and new mothers and help them learn how to care for themselves before the baby is born and what to do after - programs that have helped increase father involvement, women's employment, and children's readiness for school. We should help these new families care for their children by expanding maternity and paternity leave, and we should guarantee every worker more paid sick leave so they can stay home to take care of their child without losing their income.
We should take all of these steps to build a strong foundation for our children. But we should also know that even if we do; even if we meet our obligations as fathers and parents; even if Washington does its part too, we will still face difficult challenges in our lives. There will still be days of struggle and heartache. The rains will still come and the winds will still blow.
And that is why the final lesson we must learn as fathers is also the greatest gift we can pass on to our children - and that is the gift of hope.
I'm not talking about an idle hope that's little more than blind optimism or willful ignorance of the problems we face. I'm talking about hope as that spirit inside us that insists, despite all evidence to the contrary, that something better is waiting for us if we're willing to work for it and fight for it. If we are willing to believe.
I was answering questions at a town hall meeting in Wisconsin the other day and a young man raised his hand, and I figured he'd ask about college tuition or energy or maybe the war in Iraq. But instead he looked at me very seriously and he asked, "What does life mean to you?"
Now, I have to admit that I wasn't quite prepared for that one. I think I stammered for a little bit, but then I stopped and gave it some thought, and I said this:
When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me - how do I make my way in the world, and how do I become successful and how do I get the things that I want.
But now, my life revolves around my two little girls. And what I think about is what kind of world I'm leaving them. Are they living in a county where there's a huge gap between a few who are wealthy and a whole bunch of people who are struggling every day? Are they living in a county that is still divided by race? A country where, because they're girls, they don't have as much opportunity as boys do? Are they living in a country where we are hated around the world because we don't cooperate effectively with other nations? Are they living a world that is in grave danger because of what we've done to its climate?
And what I've realized is that life doesn't count for much unless you're willing to do your small part to leave our children - all of our children - a better world. Even if it's difficult. Even if the work seems great. Even if we don't get very far in our lifetime.
That is our ultimate responsibility as fathers and parents. We try. We hope. We do what we can to build our house upon the sturdiest rock. And when the winds come, and the rains fall, and they beat upon that house, we keep faith that our Father will be there to guide us, and watch over us, and protect us, and lead His children through the darkest of storms into light of a better day. That is my prayer for all of us on this Father's Day, and that is my hope for this country in the years ahead. May God Bless you and your children. Thank you.
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