Feminism. Don't Roll your Eyes at Me!

I have not blogged much about Politics here on Blogger. I do occasionally repost things I find, but have tried to stay away from this for various reasons. But I am political and opinionated. And I am going to rant. And this is my opinion.....



I was raised by my Mother, who is a wonderful force to be reckoned with. She taught us we could do anything we wanted, and she supported us everystep of the way. My Mom has never wanted us to be limited by our gender. My sister and I were coming up in the world in the era of the "Riot Grrrl". Between that and MOM, there was little chance we'd take no for an answer very often.

Now I am going to do some ranting here. So dont roll your eyes at me. I am a feminist. These days, because a woman had the AUDACITY to run for president, Feminism is a bad word. In the Primaries, talking heads like Keith Olberman and Chris Matthews repeatedly made dispespectful, sexist remarks in regards to Senator Clinton, near daily. And this behavior seems to be ok, at least in the minds of most men. I dont think its okay to imply someone should take Senator Clinton into a room and beat her up till she concedes, okay Keith? If you even bring the subject up, the eye rolloing begins, as if sexism isnt a legitimate problem. Racism, yes. Sexism, no. I think they're both deplorable.

Now speaking as a woman, I take this dismissal of sexism very personally. Especially when its done by men, but it's infuriating when it's done by women. I don't want to totally make this about Hillary Clinton, because I am now 100 % behind Barack Obama. I had some issues with how Hillary's campaign was handled, and specifically with a douchebag named Mark Penn. But I have never in my life seen the tides change so quickly. During the primary season, if you were supporting Hillary, you had to do so quietly. Otherwise, you ran the risk of being ridiculed. Often, I was accused of voting for Hillary just because she was a woman. Well, speaking as a woman, that's offensive.

For the first time in my adult life ( I was in 1st grade when Ferraro was a Veep candidate) I had the opportunity to vote for a woman. I have ALWAYS casted my vote for the Democratic MALE candidate. Your damned right I was voting for the woman. Not to mention she was my senator, who had done a great job in my state for us working families and children, someone who had the skyrocketing cost of healthcare on her mind.....not to mention a past failure she wanted to right! It was unpopular to like Hillary. Everywhere you turned, bad things about Hillary. I proudly voted for Hillary in the primaries, with my daughter at my side.

Now Im not going to say that the women out there who arent going to vote, or that are going to vote McCain because of Hillary's primary defeat are helping matters. I dont hold Obama responsible for the mess. I think MSNBC, and the Huffington Post, Rolling Stone and Matt Taibbi had plenty to do with the anti Hillary bias. And I like all of those outlets. I just disagreed with them on throwing Senator Clinton under the bus, so to speak.

So to close out my rant Im going to end with this....I want to thank Hillary Clinton. The ceilings a bit closer now. There have been many times in my life where I have been doubted because of my gender. ( stupid fools!) There have been times I have been on the fast track and then passed over because I chose to add to my family. I have been ignored in business dealing because I was only "the wife". We live in a country where insurance companies covered VIAGRA before Birth Control! What does that say? And employers still don't nessecarily (sorry, bad spelling) have to cover maternity. Men still make more money than women on average for doing the same work. So Roll your eyes. But it's a whole new ballgame now guys. Were not going anywhere but to the top. Leave Hillary and Michelle alone. And to those women thinking of sitting this one out or voting McCain, I beg you to reconsider. Its not so long weve had this right to vote. I find it a crying shame to our sisters who fought so hard to secure that right for us. John McCain has said he want to appoint more conservative judges to the Supreme Court to overturn Roe V. Wade. Then we can be stripped of our reproductive rights. Senator Obama has two young daughters, he cares about our issues. This is no longer a mans world. Its Our World. All of ours. Men, Women, Black, White, Gay or Straight.......

So be good to each other. And vote Democratic for the love of America!!!

Peace!

My Children's Fathers Day Creations

My husband is a terrific, hard working Dad. He spoils us all and tried very hard to keep us all happy. The kids are always so proud of what they craft for him at school. This year was no exception. It came with the added bonus of hilarity. I hope you parents can relate and see the humor.





On Fathers Day, he is a champ and all smiles as he is handed yet another construction paper "tie" imprinted with " Why is Dad so thoroughly Mad" . Just so you know, This is Masons second go round in Kindergarten. Jackson is in second grade, bringing the grand total in ties hanging in his bedroom to 3. But He smiles and reads it excitedly and thanks his son and hugs him.



Then he reads the card.



Memories With My Dad ( and theres a nicely colored orange Papa Bear with cub)



open it up and it says " I liked it when ___________________" and they draw a corresponding picture, then the other side says You made me laugh when ___________.



So Masons answers are: when we built a puppet stage. At this point Tom raises an eyebrow and looks at me. He's thinking maybe he forgot this. I know because Im his wife and we finish eachothers sentences. But I know whats going on and I start to laugh.



The next answer is " when a board hit you in the head." Now Tom is straight out laughing hysterically. Neither of these things EVER happened. Of all the things he DID build with his son, he chose to make something up. And I can assure you that if a board did hit him in the head, Mason would have thought it was very funny. But he most likely would not have laughed when it happened. We are sitting at the table laughing our asses off.



Tom asks Mason, " Did you make this stuff up?"



Mason replies, " Well, yeah... I just said what I thought was good and drew a picture."



Happy Fathers Day Dad! From the ADD one. God knows he loves you dearly.....but this card thing is a bit much. He then gave him a beautiful tile he decorated with the word DAD. And MAN was he proud he knew how to spell Dad. ....



Then we got out Sophias gift from YTots. They made little laminated cards for Dad. On one side said MY Dad is great because: and then the wee ones dictated their messages and the teachers wrote them down. On the other side was: A Picture of my Dad.



I wonder what in the heck those teachers think of us. I really do.



I am going to post, verbatim, Sophias ode to her Daddy.



My Dad is great because:



My Dad lets me go to Simmons-Rockwell.

And he lets me go to the "Big" library with my Mom.

My Dad brought home Harleigh the Shih Tzu and then peed in the Pacifica.

love, Sophia



Let me clarify something, Harley, not Daddy, peed in the Pacifica.

You did notice she got "shih tzu" her favorite "Bad Word" in her Fathers Day Card, right?



Now about that picture.....



I have a very handsome husband. Blonde hair, green eyes, nice bod, glasses, receding hairline, great teeth and smile. I happen to think he's the cats meow.



The picture was a circle with stick arms and legs, Mr. Magoo glasses, and "bald, like Dad" says Sophia. At this time I must say that this child loves her Daddy " like a fat kid loves cake". She adores him.



But all these travesties were fine, we laughed till we cried. Jackson made him a truly sweet card. It said " My Dad is nice, kind, smart, brave, strong, cool, funny, helpful, wonderful, handsome! My Dad deserves a trophy because he gives me stuff from his childhood. I also think he is the best because he buys mew toys. I like him because he brought me my dog. I like when he shows me his trophies he won. He is very nice. I love my Dad. Happy Fathers Day.



Well, Dad. We love you for all these reasons and more. We love you for making us a family. I love you for being you. I love you changing diapers, making bottles, and getting the kids in their car seats. I love you for finding ways to spend more time with us, like I know you are always doing.
I love you because you have probably spent a month of your life jumping on the trampoline, another month at the soccer fields, and you're fine with it. We all think you're totally awesome, because you are. We know why you do what you do, and that were at the heart of your world. Each and every one of us has had the honor of watching you come swooping in to save the day. You are what heros are made of. You are ours. We love you. Happy Fathers Day Tom.

99% of the time

I have been working very hard over the past two years to try to conquer the beast within. Sound ridiculous? Well.....I'm often driven by emotion. Sometimes something very small can set me off. I have cried at commercials. Sometimes, they're not even sad. I scream at people in my car when they drive retarded because they're busy chatting away on their phones. I get pissed off when bad things happen to my friends and family. I'm that kind of person. In my younger days, I was the type of girl who threw punches. I never gave two shits how big you were. Now, I'm a parent, and I don't want my children to witness this sociopathic behavior...so as I said earlier, I am trying to tame the beast. I am concious of these behaviors. I take medication to help even me out, and to ward off migraines. ( they are related-believe it or not! and the drug is my savior.) I eat a healthy diet, and I excersize regularly to make sure I feel my best. Hell, I even take to my blog to vent.


But there are times like today, when I feel like I have tried all the alternative routes. I have talked till I am blue in the face, a million second chances have been given, and still someone very, very dear to me I am watching get kicked around. Well, at least I am watching him be scapegoated so someone else can be blameless. And because of my Momma bear complex, sisterly love or a good old fashioned pissing contest I want nothing more than to go out and give a well deserved Trimboli- style Beat Down. And it truly shames me. I hate war and violence. I hate that part of me. But its always kind of there. I don't think women are supposed to have this problem, and I feel such inner guilt over these feelings. It isnt right to let people make you feel this way. Normally, I am able to let it go. But every once in awhile.....

Will I ever be able to function without this anger mechanism? Or am I destined to be an angry old bitch?

Obamas Fathers Day Speech

Here is the speech Obama delivered at Church on Fathers Day. Wow.

Obama 2008!

Good morning. It's good to be home on this Father's Day with my girls, and it's an honor to spend some time with all of you today in the house of our Lord.
At the end of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus closes by saying, "Whoever hears these words of mine, and does them, shall be likened to a wise man who built his house upon a rock: and the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house, and it fell not, for it was founded upon a rock." [Matthew 7: 24-25]
Here at Apostolic, you are blessed to worship in a house that has been founded on the rock of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. But it is also built on another rock, another foundation - and that rock is Bishop Arthur Brazier. In forty-eight years, he has built this congregation from just a few hundred to more than 20,000 strong - a congregation that, because of his leadership, has braved the fierce winds and heavy rains of violence and poverty; joblessness and hopelessness. Because of his work and his ministry, there are more graduates and fewer gang members in the neighborhoods surrounding this church. There are more homes and fewer homeless. There is more community and less chaos because Bishop Brazier continued the march for justice that he began by Dr. King's side all those years ago. He is the reason this house has stood tall for half a century. And on this Father's Day, it must make him proud to know that the man now charged with keeping its foundation strong is his son and your new pastor, Reverend Byron Brazier.
Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives, we are reminded today that family is the most important. And we are called to recognize and honor how critical every father is to that foundation. They are teachers and coaches. They are mentors and role models. They are examples of success and the men who constantly push us toward it.
But if we are honest with ourselves, we'll admit that what too many fathers also are is missing - missing from too many lives and too many homes. They have abandoned their responsibilities, acting like boys instead of men. And the foundations of our families are weaker because of it.
You and I know how true this is in the African-American community. We know that more than half of all black children live in single-parent households, a number that has doubled - doubled - since we were children. We know the statistics - that children who grow up without a father are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime; nine times more likely to drop out of schools and twenty times more likely to end up in prison. They are more likely to have behavioral problems, or run away from home, or become teenage parents themselves. And the foundations of our community are weaker because of it.
How many times in the last year has this city lost a child at the hands of another child? How many times have our hearts stopped in the middle of the night with the sound of a gunshot or a siren? How many teenagers have we seen hanging around on street corners when they should be sitting in a classroom? How many are sitting in prison when they should be working, or at least looking for a job? How many in this generation are we willing to lose to poverty or violence or addiction? How many?
Yes, we need more cops on the street. Yes, we need fewer guns in the hands of people who shouldn't have them. Yes, we need more money for our schools, and more outstanding teachers in the classroom, and more afterschool programs for our children. Yes, we need more jobs and more job training and more opportunity in our communities.
But we also need families to raise our children. We need fathers to realize that responsibility does not end at conception. We need them to realize that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child - it's the courage to raise one.
We need to help all the mothers out there who are raising these kids by themselves; the mothers who drop them off at school, go to work, pick up them up in the afternoon, work another shift, get dinner, make lunches, pay the bills, fix the house, and all the other things it takes both parents to do. So many of these women are doing a heroic job, but they need support. They need another parent. Their children need another parent. That's what keeps their foundation strong. It's what keeps the foundation of our country strong.
I know what it means to have an absent father, although my circumstances weren't as tough as they are for many young people today. Even though my father left us when I was two years old, and I only knew him from the letters he wrote and the stories that my family told, I was luckier than most. I grew up in Hawaii, and had two wonderful grandparents from Kansas who poured everything they had into helping my mother raise my sister and me - who worked with her to teach us about love and respect and the obligations we have to one another. I screwed up more often than I should've, but I got plenty of second chances. And even though we didn't have a lot of money, scholarships gave me the opportunity to go to some of the best schools in the country. A lot of kids don't get these chances today. There is no margin for error in their lives. So my own story is different in that way.
Still, I know the toll that being a single parent took on my mother - how she struggled at times to the pay bills; to give us the things that other kids had; to play all the roles that both parents are supposed to play. And I know the toll it took on me. So I resolved many years ago that it was my obligation to break the cycle - that if I could be anything in life, I would be a good father to my girls; that if I could give them anything, I would give them that rock - that foundation - on which to build their lives. And that would be the greatest gift I could offer.
I say this knowing that I have been an imperfect father - knowing that I have made mistakes and will continue to make more; wishing that I could be home for my girls and my wife more than I am right now. I say this knowing all of these things because even as we are imperfect, even as we face difficult circumstances, there are still certain lessons we must strive to live and learn as fathers - whether we are black or white; rich or poor; from the South Side or the wealthiest suburb.
The first is setting an example of excellence for our children - because if we want to set high expectations for them, we've got to set high expectations for ourselves. It's great if you have a job; it's even better if you have a college degree. It's a wonderful thing if you are married and living in a home with your children, but don't just sit in the house and watch "SportsCenter" all weekend long. That's why so many children are growing up in front of the television. As fathers and parents, we've got to spend more time with them, and help them with their homework, and replace the video game or the remote control with a book once in awhile. That's how we build that foundation.
We know that education is everything to our children's future. We know that they will no longer just compete for good jobs with children from Indiana, but children from India and China and all over the world. We know the work and the studying and the level of education that requires.
You know, sometimes I'll go to an eighth-grade graduation and there's all that pomp and circumstance and gowns and flowers. And I think to myself, it's just eighth grade. To really compete, they need to graduate high school, and then they need to graduate college, and they probably need a graduate degree too. An eighth-grade education doesn't cut it today. Let's give them a handshake and tell them to get their butts back in the library!
It's up to us - as fathers and parents - to instill this ethic of excellence in our children. It's up to us to say to our daughters, don't ever let images on TV tell you what you are worth, because I expect you to dream without limit and reach for those goals. It's up to us to tell our sons, those songs on the radio may glorify violence, but in my house we live glory to achievement, self respect, and hard work. It's up to us to set these high expectations. And that means meeting those expectations ourselves. That means setting examples of excellence in our own lives.
The second thing we need to do as fathers is pass along the value of empathy to our children. Not sympathy, but empathy - the ability to stand in somebody else's shoes; to look at the world through their eyes. Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in "us," that we forget about our obligations to one another. There's a culture in our society that says remembering these obligations is somehow soft - that we can't show weakness, and so therefore we can't show kindness.
But our young boys and girls see that. They see when you are ignoring or mistreating your wife. They see when you are inconsiderate at home; or when you are distant; or when you are thinking only of yourself. And so it's no surprise when we see that behavior in our schools or on our streets. That's why we pass on the values of empathy and kindness to our children by living them. We need to show our kids that you're not strong by putting other people down - you're strong by lifting them up. That's our responsibility as fathers.
And by the way - it's a responsibility that also extends to Washington. Because if fathers are doing their part; if they're taking our responsibilities seriously to be there for their children, and set high expectations for them, and instill in them a sense of excellence and empathy, then our government should meet them halfway.
We should be making it easier for fathers who make responsible choices and harder for those who avoid them. We should get rid of the financial penalties we impose on married couples right now, and start making sure that every dime of child support goes directly to helping children instead of some bureaucrat. We should reward fathers who pay that child support with job training and job opportunities and a larger Earned Income Tax Credit that can help them pay the bills. We should expand programs where registered nurses visit expectant and new mothers and help them learn how to care for themselves before the baby is born and what to do after - programs that have helped increase father involvement, women's employment, and children's readiness for school. We should help these new families care for their children by expanding maternity and paternity leave, and we should guarantee every worker more paid sick leave so they can stay home to take care of their child without losing their income.
We should take all of these steps to build a strong foundation for our children. But we should also know that even if we do; even if we meet our obligations as fathers and parents; even if Washington does its part too, we will still face difficult challenges in our lives. There will still be days of struggle and heartache. The rains will still come and the winds will still blow.
And that is why the final lesson we must learn as fathers is also the greatest gift we can pass on to our children - and that is the gift of hope.
I'm not talking about an idle hope that's little more than blind optimism or willful ignorance of the problems we face. I'm talking about hope as that spirit inside us that insists, despite all evidence to the contrary, that something better is waiting for us if we're willing to work for it and fight for it. If we are willing to believe.
I was answering questions at a town hall meeting in Wisconsin the other day and a young man raised his hand, and I figured he'd ask about college tuition or energy or maybe the war in Iraq. But instead he looked at me very seriously and he asked, "What does life mean to you?"
Now, I have to admit that I wasn't quite prepared for that one. I think I stammered for a little bit, but then I stopped and gave it some thought, and I said this:
When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me - how do I make my way in the world, and how do I become successful and how do I get the things that I want.
But now, my life revolves around my two little girls. And what I think about is what kind of world I'm leaving them. Are they living in a county where there's a huge gap between a few who are wealthy and a whole bunch of people who are struggling every day? Are they living in a county that is still divided by race? A country where, because they're girls, they don't have as much opportunity as boys do? Are they living in a country where we are hated around the world because we don't cooperate effectively with other nations? Are they living a world that is in grave danger because of what we've done to its climate?
And what I've realized is that life doesn't count for much unless you're willing to do your small part to leave our children - all of our children - a better world. Even if it's difficult. Even if the work seems great. Even if we don't get very far in our lifetime.
That is our ultimate responsibility as fathers and parents. We try. We hope. We do what we can to build our house upon the sturdiest rock. And when the winds come, and the rains fall, and they beat upon that house, we keep faith that our Father will be there to guide us, and watch over us, and protect us, and lead His children through the darkest of storms into light of a better day. That is my prayer for all of us on this Father's Day, and that is my hope for this country in the years ahead. May God Bless you and your children. Thank you.

My Sister is Engaged!

Well, they finally did it! Ben and Jen are officially engaged. I saw her gorgeous sparkly ring yesterday....in addition to the lovely new home and the baby ( okay, puppy) they are going to get married! Congrats Sis!

The Hold Steady's "Stay Positive" streamed on myspace. F'in awesome.

Maybe you like The Hold Steady. I do. Never heard of them? Like Springsteen? Give them a listen....I doubt you'll be disapointed. They kick serious ass. Like if Bruce was born is say....74 or something. I dunno. I love it. Anyway. You can listen to the new album in its entirety on their myspace page. They're in my top friends.

I hate most new stuff, but I love the Hold Steady and Kings of Leon. ( I like Jack Johnson too, but I think its a Mom crush) Good Stuff, for lack of a better description. Listen and tell me what you think. I think they nail what its like to be young and discontent in America.

Cecile Richards Blog

This was originally posting on Huffington Post. I respect others opinions, and I was raised to be pro-choice. I am to my core, so please respect my right to feel this piece with the urgency that I do. I think it's a good, important read. It was written by Cecile Richards, Daughter of the late Ann Richards and is titled: What Ann would do.


It's our time to put a president in the White House who cares about women's health, take back our country, and move once again with progress and commitment to the future. That's what Hillary Clinton said when she suspended her presidential campaign and that's what my mother Ann Richards would say if she were alive today. When Mom lost her reelection bid for governor of Texas to George Bush in 1994, she didn't just get over it, she went on with it -- on to campaign with gusto for hundreds of women and other progressive candidates across the country.
Mom required only one thing of the many folks who asked for her campaign help: a 100 percent belief in women's rights. If they didn't have it, they were out of luck. But if they stood up for women as she did, she would travel to the ends of the earth for them.
That's why if she were still around she would suit up and campaign for Senator Obama in the farthest corner of the farthest state. Mom would see in him a leader with a long and consistent record for standing up for women's health care, a man raised by a single mother, a father of two daughters, and a husband who supports women's rights 100 percent.
She'd see in him what we at the Planned Parenthood Action Fund see: a leader who will improve access to quality health care for women, a partner who will support and protect a woman's right to choose, and a president who will invest in prevention programs that help prevent unintended pregnancies and reduce the need for abortion.
Elections are about choices, and Mom would have said that women voting for John McCain would be like chickens choosing to vote for the Colonel. In 25 years in Washington, John McCain has consistently voted against women's health. McCain wants to overturn Roe v. Wade, opposes basic family planning programs, and voted against insurance coverage for birth control. He has a zero percent voting record from Planned Parenthood.
As a health care provider to millions of patients every year, we take our endorsement process very seriously. In this election, the choice is very clear. Our national Action Fund board has voted unanimously to recommend an endorsement of Senator Barack Obama for president. That recommendation has been sent on for ratification to our local action organizations, who represent the interests of all 103 affiliates.
This year we have seen historic numbers of women, young people, and millions of new voters engaged for the first time in the political process. This is the kind of social change that Mom believed in and fought for her entire life. And that's the kind of work we at Planned Parenthood are all about.
Planned Parenthood Action Fund polling finds that more than half of women voters in battleground states have no idea where Senator McCain stands on women's health issues, and even worse, half of the women who support him describe themselves as pro-choice. The good news is when these women learn about his record of voting against access to family planning and sex education, as well as his opposition to Roe v. Wade, they become much less likely to support him.
That's why we are out there, engaging and educating voters on the records of both Senator Obama and Senator McCain, and turning out the key voters who will be instrumental in electing a pro-choice, pro-women's health care president.
In her famous speech at the Democratic convention twenty years ago, Mom said, "I think of all the things that never would have happened and all the people who would have been left behind if we had not reasoned, and fought, and won those battles together." Like Hillary, she would be imploring all voters to not let this moment slip away. She would agree that we have come too far and accomplished too much. Let's link arms and get on with the future, she'd say. It's time to elect Barack Obama president.


Cecile Richards, daughter of the late Ann Richards, former governor of Texas, is president of the Planned Parenthood Action Fund.