My Middle Child

I have been a Mama now for a decade. It feels longer. Yet it seems like only yesterday that Jack was born. I can look at him, and still see his baby face in the nine year old eyes that I continually annoy. Apparently, My Mason is quickly losing his Motherlove too. I must admit I never thought I'd see the day that Mason wouldnt think I hung the moon, but I have. And it sucks.



I am going to dedicate todays rambling, heartwrenching, ranting release to my beloved middle child, Maters. Mason is my challenge. He was my runt. He started sleeping through the night when he started Kindergarten. He holds the world record in ER visits. And possibly for the shortest attention span. He singlehandedly changed my opinion of child harnesses, I used to be very strong in my opinion they were a horrible contraption. I still have never owned one, but secretely wished I did. I know why they are made. I have one of those kids. And I absolutely love him to pieces.
My son has run away from me while I was 9 months pregnant pushing the grocery cart ringing up my groceries in Wegmans with one of those "car" carts. He just climbed out the front window and took off running out the store. Being in the cramped check out area behind the big shopping cart and unable to move, Jackson jumped out of the car too and ran after him for me. Jackson brought him back. In tears. No, not Mason....Jackson was crying because Mason ran out into the parking lot and Jack had to grab him by his collar and drag him into the store. Thank God for big brothers. I almost gave birth to their sister in Wegmans that day. I know why child harnesses are made.



Let me first say, my son is the sweetest, most caring and sensitive boy you could meet. He is a joy. He is a friend to everyone. Just ask the 68, 71 and 92 year old bachelors who live on my road. He visits them, they think he's great. He's a lady killer as well. He's very thoughtful and considerate of others feelings. Not always mine, mind you, but most others.



His teacher tells me he's the peacemaker at school. He's a leader on the playground. But he HATES schoolwork. No time for it. Cant focus, sit still, pay attention. Not for the world.

He can sit with you and discuss the election. Or have a nice grown up conversation. Tell you about his favorite Beatles song. But he will holler out any old sight word to get it over with!
I just dont understand. The correlation between his language skills and his ability to focus makes no sense.

He understands the game of baseball. He can pick up and play the entire game. He could ride a bike at 4 like a pro. We took the wheels off and he went. That was it. Never fell, nothing.



He is always BORED. Everything is boring to him. He needs to constantly be entertained. Yet I basically have to force feed him to get him to eat. And bedtimes are a nightmare.

We are now at a crossroads with my middle child. He has repeated, and is recieving extra help. His teacher would like him to be evaluated. I am resistant because I know my child is a bright, intelligent child. I believe he has some focus issues. We will let the Dr evaluate those. It is with a very heavy heart that I will agree to give my child stimulants. They are going to have to work hard to convince me, but at this point I just want him to feel some sucess. Mason is tiny. He's my runt. He's never eaten or slept well. I just want to bring him up to speed without wearing him down.

Working with him one on one is more than I can do. Ive been doing it and havent seen any results. I dont want to fail my child. Im frustrated. I want him to succeed. I havent been as happy with the resources at the school this year as I have been in the past. I am frought.

On top of all this, Im finding it harder to click with Maters these days. He's a bit distant. He's trying to be independant, and I want him to feel proud of his accomplishments. I wish I knew the right steps to take to bring him up to speed. Because this child has been keeping me up to speed for the past six years.